Urgent News!

Prince Rupprecht of Saukopf-Bachscuttel is "attending to affairs of state". Most of the time, this involves activities that normal people would brigade under such headings as "eating", "sleeping", or "committing crime". On this morning, however, it actually comprises pursuits that even the French nobility would recognise as the business of governance. This would explain the look of furrowed unhappiness that sits upon the prince's brow.

 He is in audience with his chief medical officer, Herr Hans Klenser. Klenser is reporting upon the latest developments in the plague that has ravaged Mittelheim, but that now seems to be ebbing away.

'Thank you, my lord', says the doctor. 'And may I say how important your contribution has been to reducing the numbers of those dying'.

'Yes, you may!' says Rupprecht enthusiastically.

'Your contribution, sir, has been very important in reducing the numbers of those dying!'

'Thank you, doctor'.

'Yes - only you, oh wise prince, would have thought to order me, on pain of death, to knock two noughts off of the end of the reported fatalities; and thus, in an instant, virtually end the plague as we know it!'

'Well, I am a prince and you're not; and you can't be expected to think of everything'.

'Thank you, sir'.

'Although it would certainly be nice if you could. Now, toddle off!'

With Klenser dismissed, the prince is looking forward to an afternoon of some really hard snoring. His chamberlain, Leopold von Fecklenburg, however, has other ideas.

'Sadly, sire, there are important issues that we must discuss!'

'No, no, no, no, no ... what?' gasps the prince suddenly. 'You've got the hat?'

'Indeed, sir', says the Chamberlain, twirling the Bishop of Schrote's mitre upon his hand.

'You've got the bishop's hat?' repeats Rupprecht in awe. 'But how?'

'Well. sir, important events have unfolded; important events vital to the ..'

'It's such a lovely hat!'

'Sir, yes, indeed it is: but circumstances demand that we consider urgent matters of great importance!'

'Yes, yes, Fecklenburg - I'm not such a fool that I can't ignore a hat in order to discuss matters of vital national interest!'

'Indeed sir, now, see here, if we look at this map ...'

'Look how red this hat is - and see all of the gold and jewel detailing!'

'Sir!'

'Of course, of course, urgent events ... of great import ... that sort of thing. Continue!'

'So, looking at this map ...'

'But I'm just saying, Fecklenburg, that everything seems better when I'm wearing this hat!'

'Sir!'

'Right, yes - sorry'.

'So, the map, and Zeigler's raid on ...'

'Can I wear the hat while you talk?'

'Sir, I ... well', Fecklenburg gives in. 'Yes sir - if you promise to pay attention to my account of these momentous events'.

'Tell me - I'm all ears!'

'Excellent, sir'.

'Yes, ears that are tucked under this quite splendid hat!'