Wednesday 30 August 2023

Rampant Inflation!

'Where did you get this pigeon?' asks Radu Pasha, stopping in another corner of the chamber. 'It looks very odd'. In front of the pasha, something that looks not unlike a tiny red winged lizard perches on a stand, chirping.


'It's an odd story, pasha', replies Sihirbaz. 'I was with some steppe nomads, and there was a fire at their temple: unsurprising, I suppose. given their lax approach to health and safety. The whole giant building and almost everyone in it went up like a torch! And then this young lady came out of the fire. And she was absolutely starkers'.
'What, no clothes at all?'
'Not a stitch. But she did have three of these lizard things on her shoulders'.
'Did she say anything?'
'It was odd, Radu Pasha. One might have expected that she would say something like: "Help! Fire!"; or "Blimey, I seem to be completely starkers - has anyone got a coat I can borrow?" But she started instead to blather on about being the "Mother of Dragons" or something'.
'Really? So what did you do?'
'Well, I got her to give me one of the lizards'.
'Got her to give you one?'
'Yes - I threw my coat over her head, stole one, and then ran off'.
'You have a very liberal view, Sihirbaz, of the meaning of the term "give"'.

Radu Pasha suddenly sees something on a nearby table. 'Well', he says, 'what's this?' pointing to a publication. 'Big Balloons, eh - I thought that you were uninterested in such technologies'.
'I don't think ...' starts Sihirbaz, quickly trying to reach the table.
'Hang on', says Radu in alarm, turning some of the pages. 'The ladies in these woodcuts don't seem to be interacting with any emerging flight technologies; although ... there is a certain amount of inflation on show ...'.
The scientist pulls the publication from Radu's hands and pushes another into them.
'Ah, now this seems more ... scientifically relevant', says Radu, though with a wistful look at the previous publication that Sihirbaz has now hidden away down his trousers. Radu examines the new tome.
'Why, this seems to be a pamphlet detailing how one might construct a giant balloon that can be lifted by the heating of air!' says Radu with enthusiasm.
'Yes, all nonsense though', replies the scientist. 'You must have heard of the early experiments?'
'Didn't they try and inflate some pigs?'
'Yes - and there was a terrible accident - the Hamstein incident'.
Radu leafs through more of the pages. 'But this seems very credible work. Where did you get it from?'
'I once met a French fellow by the name of Montgolfier. He had his experiments documented in pamphlets such as these. I think he intended to pass them on to his sons'.
'How did you get this from Montgolfier?'
'He have it to me'.
'He gave it ... oh, I see, Sihirbaz Pasha. You really must go through a lot of coats in your research. Hmmm, I think I know who might appreciate this document. I shall keep it'.

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