I, Bob!

'Well', says Radu Pasha, 'this is a cosy office space'. He stands with Sihirbaz Pasha, Zenta's scientist, in a room deep within the bowels of Hospodar Casimir's palace. "Bowels" is a very apt description given the state of the place. It is a dank, noisome chamber crowded with disconcerting oddities. 

There is a strange pool, fizzing, yet glutinous, exuding a pale green light. From it drifts a smell of ozone and haddock. In the middle, an arm protrudes, reaching forwards, groping as if it is seeking something - or someone.
Radu Pasha pauses, staring at the pool suspiciously. 'What's this?' he asks, trying not to get too close.
'What? Oh, that - it's really nothing', replies Sihirbaz airily. 'Nothing at all. Nothing to see'.
Radu peers more closely. 'Is there a room under this floor - a secret chamber perhaps? Because it looks like whoever that arm belongs to is trying to break through the surface of that ... pool or whatever, in order to enter this room. Or this dimension'.

The scientist tries to make light of things. 'Oh him? He's just my ... ah, neighbour ... who, ah ... is annoyed because he thinks that I play my musical instruments too loudly and it ...ah ... keeps him awake. He works nights - or at least, in the dark'.
Radu frowns. 'You haven't been doing something that you shouldn't have you, scientist pasha?' he says slowly. 'You haven't been delving into dark tomes full of forbidden knowledge, dreadful spells, and unspeakable horrors have you?'

'Oh no, no, no, no, no', says Sirhirbaz earnestly. 'No, no, no! The hospodar was very clear that I should stop doing that sort of thing'.

'Yes', nods Radu. 'Because there was that business with the tentacled thing ...'

'Just a large octopus, Radu Pasha - it could have happened to anyone'.

'And the virgins ...'

'They were not as advertised, pasha - I can't be blamed for that one ...'
As the two of them turn, the hand in the pool clenches its fist and then extends a middle finger.

'Now, what's this?' says Radu, pointing at what appears to be a very large shiny suit of armour.

'Ah!' says Sihirbaz enthusiastically. 'Now, this is my latest creation! It is a mechanical person: see, it moves and talks!'

'It's really hot in here' says a hollow voice from within the metal body. 'Master, help me up ...' One of the arms flails wildly.

'Amazing!' cries Radu. 'And this creation is entirely of a mechanical nature?'

'Well' says the scientist. 'Not wholly'.

'Not wholly?'

'Hello?' repeats the hollow voice. A metal leg waggles feebly. 'It's so hot in here. And this metal is so heavy'.

Radu raises an eyebrow. 'So, there is a person inside the metal suit?'

'At the moment, yes!' says Sihirbaz enthusiastically. 'But this is the first step towards the creation of a revolutionary clockwork servitor! I call it a "Robert"'.

'A Robert?'

'Yes, because the fellow inside is Bob, my apprentice'.

Radu Pasha nods slowly, considering this. 'So, you are close, then, to replacing ...Bob ... with an entirely mechanical system for the production of thought and movement?'

'No, not really', admits Sihirbaz. 'But the most difficult part of the project always seemed to me to be creating the armoured carapace. A few more weeks should sort out everything else'.

Radu gestures. 'But ... isn't an armoured carapace that has a human inside just a suit of armour?'

The scientist considers this. The silence extends just long enough that even Radu Pasha, a man who is a routine witness to the barbarous violence that constitutes the standard exercise of governance in the Sanjak of Zenta, begins to feel slightly embarrassed.

'I've got so much else to show you!' says Sihirbaz finally.