Saturday 8 October 2022

Religious Auxiliaries!

General Bulbous knows exactly where he intends to make his first urgent thrust: he intends to put the willies up the Nabstrian cavalry. He orders forwards his palace sipahis. His army responds like a well-oiled machine. As a machine, of course, it is more like a contraption designed to press trousers than it is to win major military engagements. But Bulbous has a few surprises up his voluminous sleeves that he hopes will even the odds. To this end, he orders up the clerics that have accompanied his army!


For this battle, and unknown to the Nabstrians, he has five of them available. Chief amongst these religious auxiliaries is Imam Fatih. Fatih prepares himself to accompany the cavalry in their advance forwards.
'Please Allah', he cries. 'Smite the infidels and send them to hell via some unpleasant and inconvenient mode of transportation. Except', he pauses, 'the ones fighting on our side: let them see the error of their ways and encourage them to embrace the true religion. And also, make them take a bath more often, and close their mouths when they chew'.
The imam then rises to his feet and begins to limber up. Though not strictly a religious requirement, the warm up is likely to be useful given that he will be accompanying a cavalry charge but doesn't actually have a horse.

He has just got to his lateral stretches when, with a whoop, the Zentan palace cavalry break into a gallop! 

2 comments:

  1. Hahahahahhaha. Love it. Very wry. What price do squashed clerics go for in the markets roundabout there? ;-)

    Cheers,

    David.

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