Nutters!

'Well, he seemed to be just the sort of fellow that we're looking for', says Graf Petr Peiper-Pickderpeck, Lord of Pickelpeipers, the Gelderland Royal Chamberlain.

Graf Wernar von Wormer, a Fenwickian minister, nods. 'Yes, his inability to work the door handle I think indicates that he is a man of suitable quality'.

'You don't think that he's too stupid, do you?' asks Count Matthias von Sachsenblaus, Gelderland's Minister for War and Strudels.

Wormer shakes his head dismissively. 'No - for our purposes that's simply not possible. Anyway, I'm sure that his struggle to work out the right way to use a chair was just some silly joke of the Prussian sort'. The minister sits back. 'You know, he did look familiar, though. From illustrations that I've seen somewhere before. He looked an awful lot like that Baron Munchhausen fellow'.

Count Matthias stares. 'You don't suppose ... you don't suppose that he actually is that fellow Baron Munchhausen!?'
'No, no, no!', replies Count Petr. 'He said his name was Hunchmausen - it's completely different'.

Matthias nods. 'Hmmm, still, he seemed pleased. I don't know what he meant about all that "destiny" stuff, though'.
'I can tell you that his destiny is likely to involve some pretty tricky domestic problems', interjects Wormer.
'How so?'
'Well, he'll be required to marry Baltazar's widow, the Duchess Isolde.'
'Is she a bit ... difficult?'
'Difficult? She is know as the "Verging Queen"'.
'But she has nine children!'
'No, "verging" as in "on the cusp of".

'On the cusp of what?'
'Madness, they say'.
'Nine children will do that to a woman, I should imagine'.
'No, no - she is a noble and so she never sees her children. I mean more broadly. She has views that indicate a certainly instability of the mind'.
'Such as?'
'Constitutional constraints on the exercise of power; meritocratic promotion in the army and civil service; reducing income inqualities; more equitable distribution of taxation'.
'What a terrible, terrible illness. But - why then is she only on the verge of madness? What possible signs of sanity has she exhibited?'.
'Well, apparently she doesn't like gherkins, which reputable physicians have noted is a sure sign of a balanced mind. It's all very tricky'.

Wormer sighs. 'Anyway, this leads me to the second key issue that I need resolved. We need to crown Emperor George as king of Gelderland as soon as possible. It needs to involve a really impressive ceremony to fully demonstrate his majesty and authority'.
'The Bishopric of Schrote is the place', says Petr. 'It has the best cathedral in the whole of Mittelheim; which is to say it's the only cathedral'.
'Excellent - then I shall leave it to you, on the Gelderland side of things, to work out the details'.
Petr nods. 'Yes, let me know how many guests so I can sort out the catering. And we'll need flowers. Ooooh, I know a really good painter for the pictures'.
'With the plague and all, we'll need to socially distance', says Matthias.
'Oh, we're fine already', says Graf Petr. 'Nowhere else is there such an enormous gulf between the social classes: no mere plague will force us to reduce the distance!'
Wormer nods. 'Excellent. Just make sure it's impressive and that it runs smoothly'.
'Of course, of course. It's just a coronation. We've had loads of those. What could possibly go wrong? What sorts of possible problems might emerge that could break the peace and lead to another interminable outbreak of terrible war?'
'Well', says Wormer reflectively, 'that's an interesting question'.