As Sebastien Le Prestre, Marquise de Vauban, once noted, no Christmas is complete without a poorly conducted siege operation. By that standard, this is surely a bumper festive period. (Below) The northern suburbs of the Wurstburp capital, Munchausen. The south of the town abuts the river Procksi, giving the capital its full name of Munchausen-By-Procksi.
This woodcut gives a reasonable indication of the defences: four bastions; two ravelins; and a defensive glacis. Two regiments of Wurstburp infantry are deployed forwards in the covered way.
(Above) An alternative perspective on the town; but changing the angle doesn't make it look any better. Each bastion contains a battery of garrison artillery. Two more regiments of infantry man the main defences; if 'man' is the right word for anything occupied by troops of the Wurstburp army.
(Above) A view from Munchausen towards the Vulgarian first parallel. At this distance, the Vulgarian siege works could be mistaken for a properly coordinated engineering exercise.
(Above) The Vulgarian first parallel. Five batteries of heavy siege artillery are positioned in redoubts. Anybody arguing that the redoubts are just large squares of felt is clearly just an engineering amateur.
(Above) The first parallel; and also, quite a lot of sheep; and also, a pen.
It is surely obvious to any gentleman of quality that a siege operation bears a remarkable similarity to the process of having survived this past year: slow, desperate, filthy digging through dirt; marginal advances; poor events rolls; dysentery; rain; more digging; latrines; rainy digging; marginal dirt; desperate latrines; poor event rolls and then back to the start; rinse and repeat.
Here in Mittelheim, we wish all of the readers of this modest publication, both of you, a restful festive break and a sincere hope that this next year gives more of what you want and a lot less of what you don't. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
