Klosentheim, the Fifth!

(Below) The Bachscuttel infantry continue their advance. Far to the rear, their cavalry support waits stolidly, snoring. The riders, that is, rather than the horses. Some of the horses are contentedly chewing grass,. Others are idly leafing through Bachscuttel military doctrine for some clues on why, despite their employment in what should surely be the most dangerous, exciting, and decisive of the battlefield arms, their chances of death or serious injury have turned out to be quite a lot less than your average cart horse; even those employed in the transport of Fenwickian melons. Whilst history seems to suggest that combined arms warfare might be the stronger mode of tactical combat, General Barry-Eylund likes to plough his own furrow; then take that furrow and plant pragmatic European battlefield experience; before covering it with horse manure and letting it die in the dark. From the general's actions, it seems his philosophy that it's better to throw his troops in, one combat arm at a time. It's a simple life.

(Above) The Bachscuttel infantry line begins to close in, and musket fire is exchanged. The Zentan irregulars in theory have a range advantage, but Barry-Eylund negates it through 'careful calculation,' a phrase which in his headquarters is a euphemism for the tedious application of a ruler and the tactical calling of a lunch break.

(Above) On the Bachscuttel left, two regiments of elite infantry duel Zentan irregulars ensconced in the woods. Though the Zentans are of dubious quality, they outnumber their adversaries. The Bachscuttel grenadiers struggle to find their enemy: is that a Zentan behind that tree? Or a large squirrel? Or a large squirrel carrying a Zentan? Or a tree with a hat? Or a squirrel in a hat carrying a Zentan?

(Above) The second Bachscittel line has begun to swing outwards to cover the right flank. Luckily for Barry-Eylund, thanks to command and control problems, the Zentan irregulars facing them are still in march column or, as it is more commonly termed in the Sanjak's drill manuals, a conga line. At the very back of the line, the Zentan janissary auxiliaries can only gnash their teeth in frustration. Even if they turn the power of their silly hats up to eleven, they are still too far from the enemy to terrify their enemy. 

Indecisive exchanges of fire continue for a while. General Barry Eylund then decides that it is time to try and regain the initiative. Charging irregulars is always a dicey business, what with their ability to evade. But, lacking any other good ideas, he trusts in luck and the poor state of the Zentan footwear. He orders both of his guard regiments to charge (above)!

(Above, left) One unit of Zentans manages to evade, and scuttles back behind their cavalry. (Above, centre). The red-coated Milchfrau Lieb-Garde, however, catch their silly-hatted opponents and give them a good bayoneting. The Zentans rout. The guard, however, are now quite disordered by their efforts, much of it caused by laughing at those of their adversaries who, in their panicked disintegration, end up sitting on their hats, an activity that is like being given a colonoscopy by an unqualified and unsympathetic rhino.

(Above) General Bulbous decides to exploit the opportunity and orders his elite palace sipahi cavalry to launch an immediate and furious charge, stirrups in! Unused to seeing horses that aren't a long, long way away, and/or reading doctrine manuals, the guards look worriedly as the wall of steel and horseflesh bears down upon them! Still, these are guards, the very elite of the Bachscuttel army: what could go wrong?