Research Framework!

With the agreement of General Hertz van Rentall, Lady Timsbury has been allowed to introduce the Vulgarian Chief Engineer, the Dutch mercenary Major de Goudenlid, to the benefits of professional military education.
'It costs how much?' expectorates the major, incredulously. But I cannot afford that! I am just a member of the middle-income gentry: my peasants will never be able to rustle up that amount'.
Lady Timsbury tuts. 'Well, then: you'd better hurry up and sack the town, so that you can get the enemy to contribute to your process of education'.
'It sounds like your education is based quite a lot on theft', observes de Goudenlid miserably.
'You see' says Lady Timsbury brightly, 'you're already learning'. She holds out her hand. 'And that "continuing education" will cost you a bit more'.
'I'm not sure I can afford any of it', replies the engineer morosely.
'Nonsense!' replies Lady Timsbury briskly. 'Besides, this education is provided by a world-leading English university'.
'Hull?' says de Goudenlid, hopefully.
'No!' replies Lady Timsbury with annoyance. 'The King's College'.
'So, King's go there?' asks the engineer, impressed.
'No', replies Lady Timsbury. 'And also, it's not a college. But these are mere details. I can assure you that your process of education will be cheaper than you think, because we can make it shorter than you expect through the application of three key academic tools'.

'Well, that sounds more hopeful' says de Goudenlid.
'Yes; first we shall apply the principle of Recognition of Prior Experience, or RPE. Do you have any accumulated experience that might be relevant to an academic qualification?'
'Hmm', considers de Goudenlid. 'I'm Dutch; and I have been for quite a long time'.
'Excellent' replies Lady Timsbury. 'I think that covers all of the first year's curriculum. Second', she continues, rummaging in the folds of her gown, 'let me introduce you to Mister Research Evaluation Framework' she waggles a large wooden ruler in a threatening manner.
'That seems like a ruler, madame' says the engineer with some trepidation, 'and not, as such, a framework'.
'It's a learning framework', replies Lady Timsbury, 'because either you progress quickly, or I will hit you with it. Mr REF is the very quintessence of modern pedagogical techniques for accelerated research'.
'You punish me until I research more quickly?'
'You see, you're already learning at a more rapid rate!'
'But what about support for research quality rather than a superficial focus on mere quantity of outputs?'
Lady Timsbury does not answer - because she is laughing too much.
'And the third technique?' asks de Goudenlid.
'I shall swear at you,' says Lady Timsbury. 'A lot. Now, get a fornicating move on with this siege. And if you do not improve', she waves Mr REF, 'this fornicator is going to fornicating fornicate you'.

Under the close eye of its newly educated and motivated Chief Engineer, the Vulgarian siege begins to develop in quite unexpected ways ...