Sunday 22 October 2023

Groeninghumpe, the Sixth!

The tone of the battle suddenly changes!  Sure, a battle is all laughs when you're shooting at an enemy at long range so that they cannot reply. But when it looks like they might actually reach you and force you into dangerous activities like fighting, then war doesn't seem quite so clever. (Below) The Wurstburp infantry close with the Zentans.

The wily General Bulbous knows that his troops have one key weakness: they aren't any good at anything at all. On that basis, the Zentans decide that discretion is the better part of valour: in the Zentan case, much the larger part; and actually also that kind of "discretion" that is functionally identical to congenital cowardice. (Below) The irregulars fall back as far as they can in the face of the advancing Wursburp troops.

(Below) On the other side, however, their light cavalry presses closer to the Wurstburp horse. The Wurstburpers might have a vulnerable flank. There is much discussion of a mathematical nature about angles, table sizes, wheeling radii and whether one might forfeit the battle by punching one's adversary in the face for being a supreme court rules lawyer. 

Back on the other side of the battlefield, light on their feet in a retreat though they might be, it would seem that the Zentan infantry are still within reach of the Wurstburpers if the latter continue to advance. (Below) Being irregulars, the Zentans have the option, if contacted, to try and evade. Should Unpronunski send his troops in anyway?


For Unpronunski, it isn't a decision at all: he orders his troops to charge! What is a little danger when one's honour is at stake? And also, he is still well behind the fighting line; so, in truth, all the danger will be borne by the tartan-trewed porridge-gobblers that comprise his front line. Keen to deep-fry their enemy in the saturated fat of combat, the claymore wielding Wurstburpers race forwards again! It looks like the Zentans are going to have to test their evasion skills ...


2 comments:

  1. "tartan-trewed porridge-gobblers" - now that's a great monniker! I can almost imagine it being popular with the chaps themselves, just like the name Quakers...

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