Executioner!

As yet another awful conflagration ignites in Mittelheim, events in Zenta proceed in the usual manner.
'You wished, my lord, to speak to the High Executioner?' says Radu Pasha to Hospodar Casimir. Both are in Casimir's harem. In due deference to the death, destruction, fear, poverty, and violence that the hospodar's machinations have unleashed across this corner of Europe, Casimir is drinking a coffee.
'No, slave. I did not ...' replies the hospodar, slurping his beverage, '... because, as you know, that position no longer exists'.
Radu winces as he suddenly remembers.
'Of course not, Awful One. I am incompetent beyond belief. I do not know how you put up with such a witless worm as I. I'd kick myself in the head if it didn't involve exposing an unseemly amount of my leg to your precious harem'.
'Do it later', says Casimir, shrugging. 'In private'.
As Radu has, too late, remembered, Casimir, concerned to show at least a modicum of engagement with the enlightenment, and to illustrate a more rational and scientific approach to affairs of governance, has abolished the position of  High Executioner. It has been replaced instead with an Equality and Diversity Officer. This is on the basis that, despite the great ethnic and religious diversity in Zenta, everyone is equally likely to be tortured to death. Equality before the law, or at least the law as Casimir wants to interpret it, is something that the hospodar believes to be an important principle. 

The holder of this new office of state is Hashmi Agha, who now enters the chamber to a fanfare of trumpeting.
'Dread Lord! Great Hospodar! Your most loyal servant Hashmi is here!' says the new arrival, abasing himself.
Casimir signals for him to rise to his feet.

'Have you lost some weight, Hashmi, my tubby, but loyal, servant?' asks Casimir.

'Indeed Dread Lord - the heaviest of my nipple rings has fallen off'.

'That wasn't quite what I meant, but never mind' replies the hospodar amiably. Casimir has always liked Hashmi because of their shared interest in blunt force trauma.

'I have a job for you, my newly appointed Equality and Diversity Officer', explains Casimir. 'The Bachscuttel ambassador has insulted my dignity and must be, ah, re-educated'.

'Re-educated?' asks Hashmi brightly. 'My lord, what sort of level of education did you have in mind? Should it be, as it were, quite basic literacy; or', he gestures with his spiked mace enthusiastically', can I go for the full university-level experience?'

'Something at the post-graduate level' says Casimir, getting into the swing of the analogy. 'Perhaps with several years of post-doctoral research'.

'I hear and obey, Dread Lord!' cries Hashmi, happily. 'What information would you like me to extract from him?'

Casimir shrugs. 'Oh, I'm not sure that that really matters', he says. 'Like any good education, it's the journey that matters and not the destination'.