Merry Christmas!

And so another year draws (or rather scribbles badly in crayon) to a close. In Schrote, the folk can look forward to a new year without war; although, to be honest, for Mittelheim the difference between war and peace generally is only the difference in the uniforms of those burning down your house and stealing your stuff. 

Getting into the Christmas Spirit: '12 more glasses each
 of spirits, and then we'll go round to the in-laws'.

In the Palatinate of Saukopf-Bachscuttel, Prince Rupprecht is again afflicted by what, for his Chamberlain Leopold von Fecklenburg, is his most dangerous kind of mood - Christmas introspection.

'Am I a good man, Fecklenburg?'

'What?' says Fecklenburg suspiciously, clutching the latest reports from the expedition to Schrote. 

'Am I a good man? You know - am I known as a wise and just fellow?'

'Beneficent, sire?'

'I haven't touched a drop, Fecklenburg'.

'Well, my lord', says the Chamberlain carefully, 'I should say that any of your subjects, picked up at random by the secret police and brought here for questioning under pain of death, would certainly attest to your marvellous qualities as a ruler'.

'That's a relief, Fecklenburg, because all I want is to be loved by my people'.

'And also by pigs, sir'.

'Obviously, Fecklenburg'.

'And pies'.

'True enough. But I still want the people to know that I do care. I want to rule wisely, and set a good example - that sort of thing. As long as it isn't too much work'.

Fecklenburg nods. 'Well, my lord, as you have raised the subject, there is, I hear, some disquiet at your failure to observe all of the strictures of the latest regulations caused by the resurgence in the plague. A belief, perhaps that you are not as committed as you should be to setting an example'.

'Look, chamberlain, I can't be expected to do  much more in the way of social distancing - I've never been further away from poor people'.

'I think, sire, that it might have been the incidents that involved indoor mixing at parties'.

'They weren't parties - they were legitimate working dinners'.

'In a carriage?'

'I need to stay mobile, Feckenburg, so that I can be of most use to my people'.

'With sixteen actresses?'

'I was working hard. Really, really hard. I worked up quite a sweat. Was it the cheese and wine thing?'

'Possibly, sire; but also, more probably, because at these "working dinners" you didn't have any clothes on'.

'They would just have inhibited my hard work. Why can't the people just trust me?'

'Well, sir, far be it from me to say, sir; but you do have a reputation, unfair of course though it is, for telling porkies'.

'I've never lied in my life, Fecklenburg'.

'Ha ha ha aha ha ... oh, you're serious - you really actually believe that, sire'.

'Bah, Fecklenburg - let us have no more on this subject. Nothing can disturb my present sense of Christmas well being'.

'Well, sire, that is a relief, because here I have the latest reports from Schrote ...'.

And so dear reader(s)*, we reach the end of another difficult twelve months. Here in Mittelheim, we hope that the coming year is a better and more peaceful one for you and yours. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

*I have added the plural in case both of you happen to be reading this at the same time.