Friday 5 February 2021

Southwest Schrote!

Even a fool knows that the worst region of Schrote is actually the southwest, which combines all the least desirable aspects of the other three regions of Schrote, with the addition of larger biting insects. As any of those who have looked at this region, or even inhaled downwind of it, could tell you, the most obvious geographic features of southwest Schrote are its marshes. Upon first encountering them, the early inhabitants of Schrote named one the Eastern Marsh, and the other the West Marsh. That they quickly began to tire of the great quantities of boggy grassland that were now their home is evident by the names of the other marshes; the Frikken Marsh and the Sodden Marsh. As might be expected, the marshes themselves are difficult to traverse, and should certainly be avoided by wagons or coaches unless the owners have remarkable strength and a well-developed sense of humour.


The hamlet of Boghoff, population 100 (happiness zero), is the largest settlement in this region. It stands in the drier meadows to the south, and on the road between Gelderland and Hanau-Brancau. It became the largest settlement after the previous settlement to claim that dubious title, Flossen, was abandoned by its inhabitants. The inhabitants of Flossen, widely considered to be some of the wisest folk in Schrote, abandoned the village and headed to Magdeburg in 1630, having convinced themselves, after much research, that trends showed that it was likely to become the safest city in Europe, and one that would witness a major boom in property. After the arrival of Wallenstein's Imperial army in 1631, of course, the city did boom: or rather, it went boom, as the jolly Imperials blew up the livestock, ravished the houses, and ransacked the womenfolk. Still, the Flossen-folk remained convinced that, on balance, they had made the right decision: whilst the massacre was indeed a traumatic experience, at least in Magdeburg one's shoes stayed dry. 

Access to the area is by a series of tracks. One runs southwest from Schrote. A second is a spur from the Boghoff/Hanau road. Access can also be had from the Bautzen-Wiffel road. The tracks generally are passable for horses and travellers on foot, though wagons and such can sometimes find things more sticky. Between Schrote and Redderblau Hill, the terrain is reasonable going. In the area between the marshes, however,  the terrain is often quite difficult, except where crossed by a track.

There are two farms in this area, Kottenrot and Schottinder Farms. The farmers in question make their living from shearing sheep and hunting frogs; or possibly hunting sheep and shearing frogs - it's not always easy to tell.

Other features of the area include the Vill Barrow. This is an ancient tomb for one of the kings of Schrote. Legend has it that, this being Schrote, the king in question buried himself alive to escape the boredom. One can also visit the Zingenring, a place reputedly dedicated to the sacrifice of young virgins; victims that in practice tended to be callow Divinity students from the universities. Redderblau Hill is the highest point in the bishopric, and contains a tower from which one can see much of Schrote - although, on reflection, that probably isn't that great a recommendation. The Kleine Tinkel, or Little Tinkel, is actually barely a stream. It's source is Flossen Lake, which laps, or perhaps dry heaves, on the shores of Flossen village itself.


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