Bashibazouks!

'Now', says Casimir with interest, as the djiveleks wander off, 'Who are these fellows?'

'Albanians, my lord', replies Bulbous. 'Albanian bashibazouks'.
'Bashibazouks?' says Casimir, closing his robes more tightly to increase the security of his valuables. 'Let's keep them at a safe distance'.

'I've never met an angrier bunch of people', says Bulbous, sadly, as he watches the Albanians punching one another as they assemble. 'They say that bashibazouks have anger management issues: but that isn't true, my lord - they can manage to get angry very, very effectively. There's almost nothing that can't induce them to dispense frenzied violence - slights against their honour, mild threats against their person, troublesome lids on jars of gherkins: one minute you think it's all going well; and then, bam! it's brutal honour killings of your grandparents'.

Casimir nods. 'Well General, it's not unexpected. Since bashibazouk translates as 'crazy head', I think that the force is unlikely to be made up of ex-accountants'.

'Wisely put, my lord. One would think that these would be a little happier, though, given that they are volunteers'.
'Volunteers?' says the Hospodar with interest. 'Why would they volunteer to come to Mittelheim?'
'I have investigated that very issue, sire', replies Bulbous. 'They think they're in Egypt. In the Sudan to be exact'.
Casimir nods. 'Which explains why they look fierce, but also confused. Didn't they read the small print of their contracts?'
'No lord, because they cannot read - small print, large print, and, handily, road signs and place names'.
'But haven't they twigged? Hasn't the lack of sand or camels given them a clue?'
'Lord, they have only the haziest idea of where Egypt is; or what sand might be; and as for camels, well, if you've never actually seen one, who's to say that they don't look exactly like a cow: of which they can see plenty'.
'I like these troops - fierce, and utterly uninformed - the perfect choice for the Zentan army!' says Casimir, pleased. 'But when they do find out that they're actually in Mittelheim, I suspect that they might be quite irked'.

'No problem, sire - I'll just let them work out their temper on the jars of gherkins'.