Sipahi!

There is marching, singing, the boisterous burning of local buildings and exuberant beating of villagers that signals the close proximity of a Zentan army in fine spirits. As Hospodar Casimir settles on his cushions, the first elements of the army deploy for review.

'Who are these fellows?' asks Casimir?

'Your palace sipahis, my lord' replies General Taras Bulbous. 'Those of the left flank and those of the right'.

'My left and right, or theirs, general?'

Bulbous considers this. 'I'm not entirely sure, great lord'.

 

Casimir surveys the troops as they prance around. 

'Their spears look a bit bendy, general - will that be a problem in combat?'
'Not at all, my lord - they will soon fall off, solving the problem. On that note, the standard bearer has had to resort to gluing his pole in two places - so any likely cut and thrust will soon become thrust and snap'.

The second unit presents itself.

'That fellow on the left doesn't look well', says the hospodar.

'No my lord', replies Bulbous. 'He is especially bendy on account of encountering a lid somewhat shorter than his cumulative height'.

'More glue?' asks Casimir.

'Really quite a lot, my lord. But here, the sipahis are leaving, and now your janisseries approach!'