The Peace of Streng!

Once again, the representatives of the states of Mittelheim meet upon the conclusion of war to hammer out a peace settlement that will - definitely this time, without a doubt, would I lie to you, pinky swear -  herald a new age of eternal peace. In the village of Streng, the protagonists thrash out a settlement.

As is customary, representing the Burgravate of Nabstria is His Excellency Reinhardt, the Bishop of Munschrugge; Rotenburg continues to rely for the defence of its interests on the shrewd Austrian, Wilhelm, the Baron Woffeltop. Representing the Empire of Fenwick is the Emperor's younger brother, Franz; Saukopf-Bachscuttel places its trust in the scholar-pig farmer, Baron Albrecht Steinhagen, although he is accompanied by a deputy, the grand chamberlain, Leopold Von Fecklenburg. New to these traditional post-war assemblages are Prince Karl von Porckenstauffen, heir to the Margravate of Badwurst-Wurstburp, who is here to try and limit the losses to his state; and also Lucas von Feratu und Osterberg, brother to Voivode Dmitri of Vulgaria.

For the defeated states of the Spasmodic Sanction, the word 'negotiation' is hardly appropriate for what ensues: 'a rough beating behind the tavern' would probably be more applicable. The chief casualty is King Wilhelm Penwick-Fuppet of Gelderland. Wilhelm was placed upon the throne by Emperor George of Fenwick at the Peace of Minde, after the Cod War. But he has proved to be a lamentable vehicle for Fenwickian interests. So, exercising the power that he has accrued through the recent war, George, Wilhem's second cousin, twice removed, makes him third removed and has him deposed. Though the peace settlement makes provision for a pension and a small estate, in the event these are not required. Wilhelm, as it turns out, dies soon after in a terrible accident that involves him putting a very heavy door upon himself and then loading it up with large boulders. George announces his intention to become both imperial and royal, kaiserlich und königlich, by ascending to the throne of Gelderland as well.

For Saukopf-Bachscuttel, the usual humiliation occurs at the hands of Rotenburg. Having already lost the area of Lowenfaht, the palatinate must now also surrender the region of Suckhofen. Prince Rupprecht also losses his position as Bishop of Schrote. Things are hardly better for Nabstria. With the pleasing duckpond of Nottelbad long ago lost, Burgrave Falco must now bear the sting of the loss of the villages of the region of Krapfenberg, which are ceded to Fenwick. The Margravate of Wurstburp suffers no territorial losses, because its lands are so lamentably poor and uninteresting. But it is forced to pay a substantial sum to Fenwick.

  
There is some bad news for Vlad IX, Count of Roldova and Baron of Herzo-Carpathia, whose ejection from Roldova and Herzo-Carpathia were the proximate causes of the latest war. In an anteroom, Fecklenberg bows politely to Vlad, and then breaks the bad news.

'We've had to make some compromises', he says delicately.
Vlad frowns, his bushy eyebrows coming together like amorous caterpillars. 'What sort?', he asks with trepidation.
Fecklenburg shrugs helplessly. 'Well, you. Prince Dmitri is confirmed as Voivode; and it is he who is now also Count of Roldova and Baron of Herzo-Carpathia. You can drop your crown off on the table by the door as you leave'.
'What? You can't leave me at the mercy of Dmitri and his Vulgarian stooges! They'll come for me! You can't comprehend the appalling things that they will be able to do to me given time and a full set of cutlery!'
'Calm down, calm down, my good count! We came to an arrangement with the Vulgarians. You won't leave these negotiations empty-handed'.
'You mean I'll get a pension and a palace?'
'No, you'll get a twenty minute head start'.