Day One: 4.30pm. Ish!

Ziegler's Headquarters:

It starts gently to get dark. Night will fall at 5pm. It looks like being a fine night. Except for the flames, of course. And the smoke. And the screams.

The Nabstrian artillery bombardment continues its slow pace until 4.30pm. Another house is destroyed: half of the buildings on the hill are now ruined or on fire.

At 4.30pm, Kugel salutes and presents himself at Ziegler's headquarters. ‘Is it time colonel? Permission to commence the full bombardment! What targets, sir – infantry, guns, or houses?’

Ziegler slaps his thigh enthusiastically. 'Commence the rapid bombardment! Redouble the fire! Concentrate the fire on the houses close to their guns! Hopefully any misses will scorch the enemy gunners! Form up the Bachscuttel Battalion for their feint attack! Assemble my elite strike force and ready them for the march!'


Hunchmausen's Headquarters:

At 4.10pm, Rimmer leaves Schrote via the Widenlau road, taking with him the four squadrons of the Bremse hussars and two of the Karnstein dragoons. He is preceded by scouts, on alert.

The slow enemy bombardment continues. Another house is destroyed. The defenders' efforts at  mitigation prevent the fires spreading. Three houses have been ruined by shot and two are on fire. Two more grenadiers are killed, five lightly wounded and five heavily wounded.

At 4.15pm there is an unexpected development! ‘A pigeon, sir!’ Major Kinski bursts into Hunchmausen’s headquarters. ‘A pigeon!’

The baron looks up from the table around which he and his staff have been planning the evening’s night attack operation. Kinski holds out the bird.

‘It seems to be a carrier pigeon’, says Czernazmije. ‘With a message’.

‘Don’t be ridiculous Chuzzlewitz’, replies the baron scornfully. ‘Pigeons can’t talk!’

‘No sir – I mean there’s a written message around its leg!’

‘That can’t be – pigeons can’t write!’

‘No, sir. I mean a message written by someone else, and then attached to the pigeon’s ankle: just like this morning!’

‘Oooooh’, nods the baron. ‘Kinski – what does it say?’

Kinski removes the wrap of paper, peers at it and then reads it out.

‘"Colonel report! Use Pigeon! Where baron! Emperor missing? Reinforcements being organised! Dammit, should have written smaller. Cavandish”’

'Really? Marshal Cavern-Dish? Are you sure Shizzlenamjy? Sounds more like a line of exclusive merkins... Well, if you say so, I suppose we should let him know what's been happening... can I leave it to you to do whatever it is to the pigeon?'

'Right away, baron!'

Just after 4.30pm, the enemy commences a furious bombardment with his artillery! In between salvoes, the feint sound of drumming can be heard! From the cathedral spire, the observer, Krutchwarmer, reports enemy infantry to the west forming up in strength on the road, just out of medium artillery range!