Throne!

General Unpronunski is once again in the company of Lady Flora Spreadswell. Having had some little time to ruminate on the recent news that has been revealed to him, he has come into the possession of some information that he thinks requires a discussion with his Jacobite colleague. Lady Flora has entered the room, and is now holding her nose and coughing.

'My lord, what is that terrible smell?'
The general points to a large cauldron in the corner. 'That would be the Margrave's comment on what he thinks of your plan. It turns out that I underestimated his anger and overestimated the quantity of chamber pots that were to hand. We had to improvise'.

'Whatever is in there is a nasty colour ...' says Flora, gagging.

'An indication, I think, of just how angry he was', replies Unpronunski.
'He was not, then, as enthusiastic as we might have hoped about the plan to establish Wilhelm's court in exile?'
'No', says the general, 'he was not enthusiastic. Or at least, he was not enthusiastic about that. He was, however, very enthusiastic about a range of other things, most of which involved stretching, cutting, kicking, pinching, or pulling parts of Lord Duncan. Parts that his good lady wife might miss'.

'However, madame, of more direct importance, I wished to question you about this', he opens his hand and displays a paper tag with a length of string to it. 'It was tied to the back of the throne'.
'Oh ... really?' says Lady Flora, trying evidently to seem nonchalant, but her voice coming out ever so slightly higher than normal. 'Whatever could that be? I have never, ever seen anything like that before, ever.' she concludes. 'Ever'.
'Really madame?' replies the General, one eyebrow arching slightly. 'Well, that is a surprise. Because on one side, this tag has written upon it: "Throne: used but good condition; slight rubbing at the edges: discount for pick up". But on the other side it has written upon it: "Sold to Vulgaria: deliver on Tuesday'.
'Oh, really?' says Lady Flora, her voice now even higher.
'Yes', says the General. 'But then, that has been scribbled out, and the following appended: "Sold: Lady Flora. Deliver Wednesday. If not in, leave in safe place"'.
'Well', says Lady Flora, shaking her head. 'I can't imagine what that is all about. I certainly would have remembered if I had gone shopping and bought a skull throne'.
'Well, my lady, have a think. Because, to the casual observer, it might seem that, far from creating this seat of power from scratch, you have taken Lord Duncan's money, bought a cheap Vulgarian knockoff, reduced in price, no doubt, because we are now at war with the Vulgarians so it probably can't be sent to them, and then passed it off as a new and imaginative furniture creation. With accessories'.

'Oh no, general', says Lady Flora, loosening her bodice. 'That cannot be so. But, is it me, or is it getting rather hot in this room?'

'No, Lady Flora', replies Unpronunski, 'it is, in fact, quite chilly in here, but then ... hang on ... ah, my lady, you don't seem to be wearing any ... You know what: you're probably right ... it's all just a mistake ... I mean, why would the Vulgarians suddenly need a skull throne. Perhaps I could warm my hands up, and then ...'

'General!' says Lady Flora, 'Perhaps you can help me: because it seems that my corset has fallen off ...'

'I'm just the man for such an emergency', says the general. 'I mean, what's a skull throne and the return of a long-dead ex-king between ... ah... friends. I mean, as long as Wilhelm's return hasn't also brought back his confidante - that Spanish rake Adolpho Don Pajero de Penguino ...'

Lady Flora nods sadly. 'I've got something to tell you. First, warm your hands up, but then, I've got something to tell you, and you might want to empty that cauldron before I start ...'