Grosse Katzick, the Sixth!

"Irregular infantry - the perfect hand-to-hand assault and breakthrough force" said nobody ever in the history of the world. Like small children running enthusiastically into the sea, the Zentan troops advance, test the water, and then scurry backwards, squealing in displeasure. The hardest work conducted on the Zentan side of the field of battle is by Death himself, who, if he had lungs, would no doubt be quite out of breath given the cardio-vascular demands involved in shovelling large quantities of irregular infantry souls into the Other Place.

General Pasha Taras Bulbous' unhappiness is magnified by that particular disappointment that obtains when one brings one's own dice only to find out that they let one down at the critical moment. The Zentan troops win not a single one of the combats, and fall back in disorder. Things now look very hopeful for Rumpfler. With the enemy in a state of disarray not seen since the last time Landgrave Choldwig of Rotenburg invited participants to bring their own 'mullets' to a game of croquet, it would seem that even a modest round of volley fire should see the Zentans off. 

The results of the Nabstrian musketry, however, are mixed: 'mixed' in the same way that one could describe a blend of something that was not very exciting and something else that was very disappointing.

(Above) On the 'not very exciting' side, fire from the garrison does rout one of the Zentan irregular cavalry. It turns out, though, that they were thoroughly disliked by their comrades, and so the effect of their loss on Zentan army morale is, like their professionalism, minimal.

(Below) On the 'very disappointing' side, there are no hits whatsoever on the milling, gurning, loons that comprise the main Zentan infantry line. Not a one.

To make matters worse, the Zentan return fire is sufficiently hot to cause a regiment of Nabstrian musketeers to flee the field (below): a regiment who, alas, turn out to very, very popular with their compatriots for reasons unknown but probably best not delved into too deeply.

Rumpfler then focuses his efforts on attempting to rally his troops; an activity that looks suspiciously similar to pointing his pistol in people's faces and threatening to pull the trigger unless they "damn well get back into line and start looking like they are enjoying themselves".