The Codfather!

'Behold, father! My new codpiece!' says Joachim delightedly.
'The power of Christ compels you!' cries Wormer, making the sign of the cross at Joachim's offending organ.

'No!' says the emperor. 'No! This just won't do, Joachim! You are a duke and should comport yourself as such! What is that thing issuing forth from the front of your britches? Is this some of joke? Or is this some kind of tasteless bet? You haven’t been talking to any cardinals have you?'

As has already been noted in this modest publication, Joachim has a particular enthusiasm for the fruits of Herzo-Carpathian codpiece workshops. In any other state, wearing such a thing would merely be crass; in Fenwick, with its sensitivity to double entendre, the duke's accoutrement is a dangerous threat to public order.

'Take it off!' says George. 'Take it off so that Wormer and I can  engage in sober discussions on matters of state'.

'It's ... ah ... it's... attached, father', replies Joachim. 'I could take my britches off', he volunteers.
'Excellent', retorts the emperor. 'Because nothing says "sober discussions on matters of state" like being in a room with a man with no trousers and a giant Christmas cucumber protruding from his nethers'.
The emperor turns to Wormer. 'Don't just stand there, Wormer: say something!'
'Should we call for an exorcism, sire?' asks the minister.
'No demon of Hell with any self-respect would inhabit my son's codpiece. Which', he continues reflectively, 'is not a phrase that any ruler in the Enlightenment should ever have to utter'. George sighs. 'Just cover it up!'
Joachim shrugs and puts his hat over the end.
The two men look at the results.
'Is it me', says Wormer, 'or does that make things worse'.
The emperor nods reluctantly. 'It looks like a dong in a tricorne - I may as well be looking at Rupprecht of Bachscuttel'.
Joachim removes the hat.
George shakes his head resignedly. 'Look', says George. 'Why are you here, my son, testing my temper and moral wellbeing?'