The Grubby Half-Dozen!

Hunchmausen's Headquarters: Day One, 11.10am

At 10.40am, the pair of Nabstrian guns opens fire! They direct their attack upon the three companies of the Ostmarck regiment lining the hedge. It is apparent, however, that they are firing very slowly. In twenty minutes, they fire four shots each. The Ostmarck suffer no casualties. The baron orders the troops to lie down behind a hedge bank.

At 10.55am, Rimmer’s infantry arrive from Schrote: three companies of the Strzyga Jager under Major Ferenczy. At about the same time, enemy infantry are seen arriving to join the enemy forces to the west – possibly two or three companies.

Despite the Nabstrian disdain for gentlemanly conduct and the etiquette of war, Hünchmausen decides to send an envoy under flag of truce bearing a bottle of brandy and a message reiterating the offer of honours of war should the Nabstrians retire immediately. Finding a bottle of brandy proves harder than it should be and, in the end, it is left to the bishop to ‘donate’ something from his cellars.

At 11.10am, as the envoy is about to leave, the Gelderlanders hear from the distance the sound of furious drumming. The observer in the spire reports that an enemy battalion seems to be forming up to the west on the road into Schrote. It is probably just outside of effective range of the baron's cannon. 'Ah, well', says Hunchmausen in a surprisingly philosophical mood. 'Drink to the dead all you still alive'. Orders are sent immediately to the Ostmarck troops currently lying low to be prepared to rise and give fire should the enemy noise be more than an attempt to cover up the sounds of the Nabstrian commander “at stool”.

 Ziegler's Headquarters: Day One, 11.10am

With much drumming, shouting, and the usual noisy expectorations that one would expect, the Bachscuttel battalion begins to form itself up into an open column on the Schrote road!

Captain Kugel continues the slow process of hurling his balls at the enemy. It would appear that the enemy infantry behind the hedge have decided to lie down. The enemy artillery remains silent.

The demonstration by the Bachscuttel battalion seems to elicit no response from the enemy. The troops hang around in column on the road for a few minutes, and then march back to their positions in cover.

Then, an aide sees through his telescope a rider approaching from Schrote under a flag of truce. One of Ziegler's staff meets him and returns with a message and a bottle of brandy! The message reads:

'Sir,
Please accept the gift and take pause, it seems too beautiful a day to ruin with the needless spilling of Nabstian blood so I repeat my offer of the honours of war to you and your men should you choose to retire now. Consider carefully,
Yours,
Hünchmausen'

'Pah!' says the colonel disdainfully. He takes the brandy but dismisses the enemy envoy, giving him the message: 'Dear Hunchmausen, You’re right: we all need the afternoon off - but we shall not be retiring!'

Zeigler then orders all of his men to stand down but keeps sentries posted. He orders Kugel to fire leisurely at the defenders for ten minutes every hour. Kugel is to conserve ammunition for a rapid half-hour bombardment from 1630 to 1700. At 1650, the Bachscuttel battalion will form up again and conduct a feint assault, advancing to enemy canister range before withdrawing.

'Where's my forge', says Ziegler to himself. 'A few hot-shot will liven things up!'

The colonel then turns to more details on his projected night raid. Ziegler himself will lead the raid. Accompanying him will be the elite of his jager. These will include:

Capt Hugo Von Stumpe (on attachment)

Sergeant Rabin Steiner

Corporal Ulfric Sander

Gefreiter Adelhard Schultz

Gefreiter Poldi Gunther

Gefreiter Berend Keller.

They have been joined by Fraulein Karlotte Werner, maid to Nora Hindquarters and highly skilled in the arts of espionage, just like her mistress! Karlotte is dressed as a comely milkmaid - her cover story is that she is searching for her lost cows and got lost herself: she will distract the sentries and guards to enable Ziegler’s team to slip into Schrote unnoticed. Karlotte is not above using her womanly wiles to get what she wants - or if that doesn’t work - the stiletto blade strapped attractively to her left thigh....

Stumpe salutes. 'It's a great honour, colonel, to be chosen for this desperate but vital enterprise! I was just wondering, sir, if we had a plan for our course of action once we try and get into Schrote. It's obviously not usually the Mittelheim way, I know sir - but I always find it comforting to have some kind of idea of a scheme of action'.

Ziegler nods. 'Well Stumpe, I’ve already told you! Frauleine Werner, distracts the sentries, we slip into Schrote (so to speak) and then we head straight to the Cathedral. Once in the Cathedral we find the priests and we extract as much information as we can about the whereabouts of the Bishop and the putative monarch. Our next course of action will depend mightily on the nature of the information extracted! And if we don’t return, we shall die gloriously and Colonel Dirkson of the Infanterie Regiment No.4 will take the force out of Schrote! The remaining Jaegers will rest throughout the day, then at nightfall, march round to the far side of Schrote, and assist in the infiltration and exhilaration of our force!'

'Excellent, sir!' says Stumpe enthusiastically. 'A chance one again to flick the earlobes of fear and to twist the nipples of terror!'