From Schrote, now occupied by Vulgarian and Gelderland troops, the local newspaper has printed a detailed, and no doubt entirely independent, account of the latest campaign!
Friday, 7 January 2022
Thursday, 6 January 2022
Hunchmausen's Message!
Always the gentleman, the Baron Hunchmausen sends a message to Colonel Ziegler!
Wednesday, 5 January 2022
The Outcome!
The Emperor was found by the Gelderlanders in Flossen at 11.05am on Day Two! (The emperor was in one of: Flossen, Oxfurt, or Hanamel Farm. For the first one of those searched, he was there on a 5 or 6; the second, a 4, 5 or 6; and the third. a 3-6 (a 1 or 2 meaning that he would never be found again!)
The invading force under Colonel Zeigler burnt one village (Widenlau), obtaining half a wagon-load of wine, and a quarter of a wagon-load of boxes of silver and gold (which strikes me as suspiciously good for a village) as well as a painting of the Virgin Mary cutting her toe-nails: the smallness of her dress, as she stoops over, no doubt a necessary artistic convention. They also successfully raided Schrote cathedral, extracting the bishop and his two henchmen. Zeigler's losses (excluding lightly wounded, who will quickly recover) amounted to 48 men and one special forces milk maid killed, 69 wounded, and 28 captured; for a total of 136 casualties. Against this, they forcibly impressed seven locals into the Nabstrian army. The two guns expended 112 rounds each, leaving them with 88.
The defending forces of Baron Hunchmausen successfully found the emperor. Schrote, and most the rest of the bishopric was largely untouched by the invading force. Hunchmausen's losses were: 37 dead, 67 wounded, six deserted and six captured; for a total of 116 casualties. The two guns each expended 40 rounds each, leaving them with 160.
The hardest fighting unit was Ziegler's Pfannensteil hussars who suffered 99 casualties out of the 400 deployed. The Gelderland Lieb Grenadiers lost 19 out of the hundred men deployed.
The raid on Schrote is thus adjudged a major victory for the Gelderland/Vulgarian defenders!
The invading force under Colonel Zeigler burnt one village (Widenlau), obtaining half a wagon-load of wine, and a quarter of a wagon-load of boxes of silver and gold (which strikes me as suspiciously good for a village) as well as a painting of the Virgin Mary cutting her toe-nails: the smallness of her dress, as she stoops over, no doubt a necessary artistic convention. They also successfully raided Schrote cathedral, extracting the bishop and his two henchmen. Zeigler's losses (excluding lightly wounded, who will quickly recover) amounted to 48 men and one special forces milk maid killed, 69 wounded, and 28 captured; for a total of 136 casualties. Against this, they forcibly impressed seven locals into the Nabstrian army. The two guns expended 112 rounds each, leaving them with 88.
The defending forces of Baron Hunchmausen successfully found the emperor. Schrote, and most the rest of the bishopric was largely untouched by the invading force. Hunchmausen's losses were: 37 dead, 67 wounded, six deserted and six captured; for a total of 116 casualties. The two guns each expended 40 rounds each, leaving them with 160.
The hardest fighting unit was Ziegler's Pfannensteil hussars who suffered 99 casualties out of the 400 deployed. The Gelderland Lieb Grenadiers lost 19 out of the hundred men deployed.
The raid on Schrote is thus adjudged a major victory for the Gelderland/Vulgarian defenders!
Tuesday, 4 January 2022
Day Two: 11.25am!
Hunchmausen's Headquarters: Day Two, 11.25am
At 10.15am Hunchmausen sends a messenger to the Bremse hussars at Redderblau instructing them, if they haven't already, to give the tower a good search. They should then check Flossen, asking any locals if any smugglers have passed by, and offering rewards for information. Scouts should be sent to check the roads to Vill Barrow and Schottinder Farm for any fresh cart tracks.
At 11.20am, the squadron of hussars return from the direction of Redderblau Hill! They have the emperor! Having searched Redderblau tower, which revealed only the horror of what happens in a cellar when Bachscuttel hussars try and relieve themselves in the dark, the squadron moved thence to Flossen. A search of this ruined village revealed the still somnolent form of Emperor George, hidden in the remains of a cellar: one clearly used by carrot smugglers. Huzzah!
At 11.25am, a messenger arrives from Rimmer. The messenger passed 1st bn Ostmarck at 1100am, about a third of a mile east of Widenlau. Rimmer’s message is timed 10.15am. He sends his compliments and reports his position to be on the road northeast of Langenzofft, just short of the border with Rotenburg. At 10.10am, the enemy column crossed the frontier and exited Schrote! Huzzah! He will maintain his position and keep the frontier under observation.
The campaign is complete! All that remains is to drink some of Bishop Baldwin’s wine (or indeed all of it) and write a short report for the emperor, when he wakes! Baron Hunchmausen feels another title coming on!
At 10.15am Hunchmausen sends a messenger to the Bremse hussars at Redderblau instructing them, if they haven't already, to give the tower a good search. They should then check Flossen, asking any locals if any smugglers have passed by, and offering rewards for information. Scouts should be sent to check the roads to Vill Barrow and Schottinder Farm for any fresh cart tracks.
At 11.20am, the squadron of hussars return from the direction of Redderblau Hill! They have the emperor! Having searched Redderblau tower, which revealed only the horror of what happens in a cellar when Bachscuttel hussars try and relieve themselves in the dark, the squadron moved thence to Flossen. A search of this ruined village revealed the still somnolent form of Emperor George, hidden in the remains of a cellar: one clearly used by carrot smugglers. Huzzah!
At 11.25am, a messenger arrives from Rimmer. The messenger passed 1st bn Ostmarck at 1100am, about a third of a mile east of Widenlau. Rimmer’s message is timed 10.15am. He sends his compliments and reports his position to be on the road northeast of Langenzofft, just short of the border with Rotenburg. At 10.10am, the enemy column crossed the frontier and exited Schrote! Huzzah! He will maintain his position and keep the frontier under observation.
The campaign is complete! All that remains is to drink some of Bishop Baldwin’s wine (or indeed all of it) and write a short report for the emperor, when he wakes! Baron Hunchmausen feels another title coming on!
Friday, 24 December 2021
Merry Christmas!
And so another year draws (or rather scribbles badly in crayon) to a close. In Schrote, the folk can look forward to a new year without war; although, to be honest, for Mittelheim the difference between war and peace generally is only the difference in the uniforms of those burning down your house and stealing your stuff.
 |
| Getting into the Christmas Spirit: '12 more glasses each of spirits, and then we'll go round to the in-laws'. |
In the Palatinate of Saukopf-Bachscuttel, Prince Rupprecht is again afflicted by what, for his Chamberlain Leopold von Fecklenburg, is his most dangerous kind of mood - Christmas introspection.
'Am I a good man, Fecklenburg?'
'What?' says Fecklenburg suspiciously, clutching the latest reports from the expedition to Schrote.
'Am I a good man? You know - am I known as a wise and just fellow?'
'Beneficent, sire?'
'I haven't touched a drop, Fecklenburg'.
'Well, my lord', says the Chamberlain carefully, 'I should say that any of your subjects, picked up at random by the secret police and brought here for questioning under pain of death, would certainly attest to your marvellous qualities as a ruler'.
'That's a relief, Fecklenburg, because all I want is to be loved by my people'.
'And also by pigs, sir'.
'Obviously, Fecklenburg'.
'And pies'.
'True enough. But I still want the people to know that I do care. I want to rule wisely, and set a good example - that sort of thing. As long as it isn't too much work'.
Fecklenburg nods. 'Well, my lord, as you have raised the subject, there is, I hear, some disquiet at your failure to observe all of the strictures of the latest regulations caused by the resurgence in the plague. A belief, perhaps that you are not as committed as you should be to setting an example'.
'Look, chamberlain, I can't be expected to do much more in the way of social distancing - I've never been further away from poor people'.
'I think, sire, that it might have been the incidents that involved indoor mixing at parties'.
'They weren't parties - they were legitimate working dinners'.
'In a carriage?'
'I need to stay mobile, Feckenburg, so that I can be of most use to my people'.
'With sixteen actresses?'
'I was working hard. Really, really hard. I worked up quite a sweat. Was it the cheese and wine thing?'
'Possibly, sire; but also, more probably, because at these "working dinners" you didn't have any clothes on'.
'They would just have inhibited my hard work. Why can't the people just trust me?'
'Well, sir, far be it from me to say, sir; but you do have a reputation, unfair of course though it is, for telling porkies'.
'I've never lied in my life, Fecklenburg'.
'Ha ha ha aha ha ... oh, you're serious - you really actually believe that, sire'.
'Bah, Fecklenburg - let us have no more on this subject. Nothing can disturb my present sense of Christmas well being'.
'Well, sire, that is a relief, because here I have the latest reports from Schrote ...'.
And so dear reader(s)*, we reach the end of another difficult twelve months. Here in Mittelheim, we hope that the coming year is a better and more peaceful one for you and yours. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
*I have added the plural in case both of you happen to be reading this at the same time.
Thursday, 23 December 2021
Day Two: 10.10am!
Hunchmausen's Headquarters: Day Two, 10.10am
At 9.30am, the Ostmarck battalion heads off along the Widenlau road to join Rimmer.
At 9.50am, the observer in the cathedral spire reports a column of troops, of roughly battalion strength, foot and horse, approaching from the direction of Hanau-Brancau.
At 1000am, the second battalion of the Ostmarck regiment arrives, accompanied by the remaining two squadrons of the Giftschlange Dragoons.
At 10.10am, a messenger arrives from the Bremse Squadron detailed to head towards Redderblau Hill. They have arrived at the tower. They report a marvellous view. To this end, a column of troops can be seen about a third of a mile northwest of Hanau-Brancau, heading in direction of Schrote. There is much detritus here indicating the previous presence of some dirty, dirty enemy troops. Should they stay here and observe?
Ziegler's Headquarters: Day Two, 10.10am
The enemy follows Ziegler's rearguard but does not press an attack. Nockenshoppes likewise focuses on avoiding entanglements.
At 1000am, the column passes through Langenzofft. The village is deserted except for a wizened old codger who watches disinterestedly as the invading force marches past.
At 10.10am, the colonel's force crosses the border into Rotenburg. There is a collection of dirty, sly, ruffianly looking fellows waiting nearby – Rotenburg troops, no doubt.
Ziegler's campaign is concluded! Time for some claret, and the writing of a quick report to the Burgrave, no doubt!
At 9.30am, the Ostmarck battalion heads off along the Widenlau road to join Rimmer.
At 9.50am, the observer in the cathedral spire reports a column of troops, of roughly battalion strength, foot and horse, approaching from the direction of Hanau-Brancau.
At 1000am, the second battalion of the Ostmarck regiment arrives, accompanied by the remaining two squadrons of the Giftschlange Dragoons.
At 10.10am, a messenger arrives from the Bremse Squadron detailed to head towards Redderblau Hill. They have arrived at the tower. They report a marvellous view. To this end, a column of troops can be seen about a third of a mile northwest of Hanau-Brancau, heading in direction of Schrote. There is much detritus here indicating the previous presence of some dirty, dirty enemy troops. Should they stay here and observe?
Ziegler's Headquarters: Day Two, 10.10am
The enemy follows Ziegler's rearguard but does not press an attack. Nockenshoppes likewise focuses on avoiding entanglements.
At 1000am, the column passes through Langenzofft. The village is deserted except for a wizened old codger who watches disinterestedly as the invading force marches past.
At 10.10am, the colonel's force crosses the border into Rotenburg. There is a collection of dirty, sly, ruffianly looking fellows waiting nearby – Rotenburg troops, no doubt.
Ziegler's campaign is concluded! Time for some claret, and the writing of a quick report to the Burgrave, no doubt!
Tuesday, 21 December 2021
Day Two: Hunchmausen's Headquarters, 9.25am!
Gelderland: Day Two, 9.25am
At 9am, a squadron of the Bremse hussars passes back through Schrote and takes the track that leads towards Redderblau Hill.
At 9.25am, a message arrives from Rimmer, written at 9.05am. He reports that scouts have penetrated the enemy lines, and have been able to give an excellent assessment of the enemy’s situation. It would seem that the whole of the known enemy force is probably here. They have looted Widenlau and are now on the road about two-thirds of a mile short of Schmallenhardt. They seem to be hurrying on at best speed. Their rear guard is composed of a regiment of hussars, supported by a regiment of jager. The rest of the force consists of two guns, four wagons, two regiments of musketeers, and two regiments of cavalry, plus some additional jager. Rimmer asks if he should he press the enemy in order to bring on an action, or should he simply observe them, exploiting any chances for a quick success against the rearguard? He has with him seven squadrons of hussars, four of dragoons, and five companies of jager.
Baron Hunchmausen decides that without his main infantry force present with Rimmer, a stand up fight may not be wise. He sends a message back to Rimmer advising that he will send infantry support immediately. So, for the moment, Rimmer should confine his actions to attempting to surprise or cut off parts of the enemy’s rearguard. He is to act aggressively but if the enemy round on him in force then he is to pull back, attempt ambushes if feasible, but otherwise wait for infantry support.
At 9am, a squadron of the Bremse hussars passes back through Schrote and takes the track that leads towards Redderblau Hill.
At 9.25am, a message arrives from Rimmer, written at 9.05am. He reports that scouts have penetrated the enemy lines, and have been able to give an excellent assessment of the enemy’s situation. It would seem that the whole of the known enemy force is probably here. They have looted Widenlau and are now on the road about two-thirds of a mile short of Schmallenhardt. They seem to be hurrying on at best speed. Their rear guard is composed of a regiment of hussars, supported by a regiment of jager. The rest of the force consists of two guns, four wagons, two regiments of musketeers, and two regiments of cavalry, plus some additional jager. Rimmer asks if he should he press the enemy in order to bring on an action, or should he simply observe them, exploiting any chances for a quick success against the rearguard? He has with him seven squadrons of hussars, four of dragoons, and five companies of jager.
Baron Hunchmausen decides that without his main infantry force present with Rimmer, a stand up fight may not be wise. He sends a message back to Rimmer advising that he will send infantry support immediately. So, for the moment, Rimmer should confine his actions to attempting to surprise or cut off parts of the enemy’s rearguard. He is to act aggressively but if the enemy round on him in force then he is to pull back, attempt ambushes if feasible, but otherwise wait for infantry support.
Ausgezeichnet!
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