Grosse Katzick the Fifth!

As the Zentan skirmishing proceeds apace, Nabstrian casualties, like the Burgrave himself after too much to drink, mount slowly. 

(Below) On the Nabstrian right, some dismal rallying does little to improve matters for General von Rumpfler's forces. The Zentan irregular cavalry begins to threaten the flanks of the Nabstrian horsed regiments by crowding forwards into a nearby marsh. Other troops might be disgusted by their journey into its boggy, muddy, foul-smelling depths. But in the Zentan army, the term 'irregular' denotes not just the general indiscipline of many of the troops, but also their bathing habits. As a result, festering cholera-hive though the marsh might be, the irregulars leave cleaner than when they went in.

In front of the centre and left of the Nabstrian line, the Zentan irregular infantry continue gadding about, taking pot shots at any enemy musketeers that appear taller or stouter than average. Being beyond the range of the Nabstrian muskets, the Zentans have little to fear. General von Rumpfler's situation is beginning to get as sticky as being caught stuck to sticky buns, without one's trousers on. 

Rumpfler decides it is time to try and change the dynamic of the battle. In an attempt to seize the initiative - or at least to seize something less floppy than what he has at the present in his hand  - he gives the orders for an advance! He does not wish to close with the enemy, because the enemy irregulars will simply try to evade; rather, he hopes to bring them within range of his own musketry and inflict some losses upon them. To the beat of drums, the Nabstrian line advances!

(Above) A rather lamentable exchange of volleys ensues, distinguishable from a pillow fight only because not all of the Nabstrians are wearing night shirts. The irregulars are unhurt, but several of the Nabstrian regiments are left in various stages of disorder. 

Checking his pocket watch, and worrying about the passage of time, Bulbous decides that it is time to move to a more decisive mode of operation. Seeking to exploit the enemy disorder, and his own special dice, he orders his irregulars to charge! (Below)

He throws his troops forward all across the line. (Below) Even on the Nabstrian right, cheeky Djiveleks, their silly conical yellow hats making them look like gnomes in search of trouble, have a go at the Nabstrian light troops in the wood; and a unit of especially brave mercenary Zentan irregulars decide to ask of Lady Luck the question: 'Why is it that more people don’t order poor quality irregular troops to charge regular enemy infantry positioned in a town'?

Lady Luck can't be bothered to turn up, of course. But Death has, because he has to, and because otherwise he would have to make polite conversation with his apprentice, Cheese. Death eyes up the quality of the mercenary irregulars as they reach the town, and assesses the strength of the defenders' position. Putting aside his scythe, he conjures instead a very large shovel.

Grosse Katzick, the Fourth!

As fanciful equine frivolities unfold on the Nabstrian right wing, it is as well to turn away and look at developments across the rest of the battlefield, because too much excitement can be dangerous. 

One of the great strengths of the Zentan troops, aside from their utter expendability, is their flexibility. Much of this is a moral flexibility, of course, a condition which explains the fact that the Zentans have brought their own special dice with them. But there is also an element of military flexibility that comes from their being able to combine both mounted and unmounted irregulars into the same force, and also to ignore difficult terrain - their utter indiscipline making it impossible for them to be further disordered by trees, marshes, or dying. 

Keen to pose multiple dilemmas for the Nabstrians, and also to keep them too busy to ask about the special Zentan-only dice, Bulbous Pasha orders his whole line forwards. (Above) The troops flow, or rather being Zentan irregulars, seep, through their artillery and commence an advance upon the main Nabstrian line.

The Zentan artillery do what Mittelheim artillery tend to do: they drink coffee, amusing themselves by stuffing the smallest of their number down the barrel of their mortar and threatening to fire it. However, since in Mittelheim the purposeful firing of an artillery piece is an idea both ludicrous and fanciful, not even the most gullible of artillery assistants is likely to be terribly worried in the face of this japesome threat.

(Above) In the centre, the Zentan troops splash noisily through a stream. Being skirmishers, they are imbued with a longer range than the enemy musketeers that they face and so no doubt hope to do what any self-respecting Mittelheimer would hope to do - strike the enemy when they can't hit back.

(Below) On the Nabstrian left, the Zentan line extends itself like a pair of Prince Rupprecht of Bachscuttel's elasticated trousers.  As the only cavalry unit on this wing, the Western provincial sipahis probably fancy their chances of being able to move themselves behind the enemy flank. 

All across the line, the rattle of musketry commences. The Zentan irregulars begin to get down to some really serious skirmishing, an activity that, to the casual observer, might seem more like 'probing their noses with their fingers'. Still, given their numbers, the power of the law of averages, and their special dice, the fire of the Zentan irregulars begins inevitably to have some effect ...

Grosse Katzick, the Third!

Ah, a Zentan cavalry charge! Much the same noise, smell of manure, and risk to life as a Zentan wedding, but without the cake. The Wars of the Gelderland Succession have long and ignoble history of cavalry actions and this one seems likely that it will be about par for the course.

In terms of the smell of manure, much of it actually seems to be emanating from the Nabstrian cavalry, and mostly not from the horses. The worry and nervousness on the part of General Rumpfler's mounted component stems from the fact that, alas, it would seem that they have forgotten their drill manuals, and the problem that, in moving from march column to line, one must do so by turning to the left or right and not by forming straight ahead. 

(Above) This creates rather an untidy situation that leaves the flanks of two of the regiments exposed to enemy attack; and thus, as it were, on a boat journey up manure creek without even a canoe, let alone a viable means of propulsion.

(Below) Luckily, the gurning loons of the Zentan palace cavalry cannot quite reach the Nabstrians in time. Their pace, though slower than General Taras Bulbous might have wanted, is nevertheless more than enough for Imam Fahti, who is left racing some way behind, gasping and heaving like a Mittelheimer forced to handle soap. 

(Below) Having continued to wheel, Colonel Pfannensteil Jr and his cavalry brigade are now at least able to hide their flanks from the Zentans, even if they haven't quite managed to point themselves entirely in the direction of the enemy. But, this being warfare in Mittelheim, one must take what one can get.

Having just failed to catch the Nabstrian cavalry during their pirouettes, (Above) Bulbous orders his cavalry to halt. Instead, he begins to order up the rest of his troops along the whole line of battle. General Rumpfler, recognising that his horsed regiments are now dangerously boxed in, orders Pfannensteil to charge! Thanks to the angles, he can squeeze in two regiments against the lead unit of sipahis. Save for sneaking up on an adversary when they are drugged and tied, this is about as good as it gets in the Wars of the Gelderland Succession.

(Above) Alas! The outnumbered Zentans deploy their cleric to even the odds. Having only just arrived, the Imam's exhortation is perhaps not quite as rousing as he would like, consisting mainly of a few gasps, a loud fart, and then some heaving sounds; but it seems to do the trick! The two Nabstrian regiments are driven back. With the Zentan irregulars now moving up as well, the Nabstrian right is now under considerable pressure ...

Religious Auxiliaries!

General Bulbous knows exactly where he intends to make his first urgent thrust: he intends to put the willies up the Nabstrian cavalry. He orders forwards his palace sipahis. His army responds like a well-oiled machine. As a machine, of course, it is more like a contraption designed to press trousers than it is to win major military engagements. But Bulbous has a few surprises up his voluminous sleeves that he hopes will even the odds. To this end, he orders up the clerics that have accompanied his army!

For this battle, and unknown to the Nabstrians, he has five of them available. Chief amongst these religious auxiliaries is Imam Fatih. Fatih prepares himself to accompany the cavalry in their advance forwards.

'Please Allah', he cries. 'Smite the infidels and send them to hell via some unpleasant and inconvenient mode of transportation. Except', he pauses, 'the ones fighting on our side: let them see the error of their ways and encourage them to embrace the true religion. And also, make them take a bath more often, and close their mouths when they chew'.

The imam then rises to his feet and begins to limber up. Though not strictly a religious requirement, the warm up is likely to be useful given that he will be accompanying a cavalry charge but doesn't actually have a horse.

He has just got to his lateral stretches when, with a whoop, the Zentan palace cavalry break into a gallop! 

Grosse Katzick, the Second!

Across the field from the Nabstrian army, Captain-General Taras Bulbous considers his options. As a Zentan, of course, this doesn't take long, and is somewhat similar to choosing which from a selection of large, blunt forks one should stick up one's nose. Bulbous had hoped to out-scout the enemy. Sadly, his scouts seem to have spent too much time searching for the enemy down the blouses of local milk maids and not enough looking for the Nabstrians somewhere in the direction of Nabstria. Bulbous has therefore been forced to go on the attack!

(Below) On the Zentan left, and facing the Nabstrian cavalry, Bulbous places the bulk of his own mounted force, including both regiments of household sipahis, and four of the five regiments of irregular horsemen. Behind the palace cavalry are both regiments of janissaries, placed here in the optimistic belief that they might, at some stage in the battle, manage to close with the enemy. Given the command and control difficulties that moving them will entail, such a circumstance is likely to happen only if the battle extends over a number of weeks.

On the other flank (below) the general places the remaining cavalry regiment, just to add some mobility, and two regiments of irregulars.

Otherwise, Bulbous spreads the rest of his irregular infantry across the battlefield in what might pass, with dutiful squinting, as a line. Both artillery batteries are placed on the hill. They are dug in, mainly to make it more difficult for the Giezza irregulars to steal them. The chances of them playing an important roll in battle are, like young Zentan scouts who have mistakenly smoked belly button fluff instead of opiates, not very high; 

Bulbous plans to rely on the usual basis for Zentan success: numbers; long-range skirmishing; blind luck; and the hope that the enemy are still in bed when the battle starts.

Both armies are now assembled. Bulbous is worried, though. Preparing for battle has taken both sides quite some time, and the morning is already rolling on ... 

Grosse Katzick, the First!

Wherein the army of the Burgravate of Nabstria under General Hieronymous von Rumpfler encounters the forces of the Sanjak of Zenta, commanded by Captain-General Taras Bulbous.

The Nabstrian army is quickly mobilised, a process that merely requires setting fire to about four of the local taverns. Soon, the nine regiments of regular foot, three regiments of regular horse, two batteries, and two regiments of irregulars are placed into column of march. General von Rumpfler hurries the Nabstrian forces forwards, aiming to catch the invaders as near to the River Strudel as possible. 

Surprisingly he succeeds in out-scouting his Zentan adversary, and he decides to take up a defensive position on open ground near the village of  Grosse Katzick.

(Below) Rumpfler deploys eight regiments of his regular infantry into two lines, his pair of batteries entrenched and interspersed amongst the front ranks of troops. The right-most portion of his foot will also benefit from being on a hill.

The Nabstrian battle line! Best flags drawn from
https://nba-sywtemplates.blogspot.com/

His left wing (below) is anchored on a wood, and is held by one of his regiments of irregulars.

On the right wing (below), he places his remaining infantry regiment in the village. The gap between his main line and the village contains a wood, and this wood he occupies with his other regiment of irregulars.

On the extreme right of the Nabstrian line, Rumpfler deploys all three of his regiments of cavalry. The very rightmost, in the position of honour, are the Pfannenstiel hussars. For maximum flexibility, the troops are deployed in columns of march, ready to to leap into action and do whatever it is that Nabstrian cavalry do when they are approached suddenly by the enemy cavalry and realise that they are still in march column.

With his flanks well covered, and his centre solidly deployed, Rumpfler approaches the coming battle with a strong measure of confidence. This is exactly the sort of encounter that his long hours playing at games of war with his finely crafted military miniatures have prepared him for. Of course, in a real battle such as this, he has much less scope to ignore the rules or threaten to imprison his adversary if he doesn't let him win. Or so one might think.

Ready for battle, the Burgrave surveys his enemy through his telescope. The Zentans comprise of a horde of troops, impossibly large in number, repellently ripe in stench, and horribly bad with cutlery ...