Merry Christmas!

And so another year draws (or rather scribbles badly in crayon) to a close. In Schrote, the folk can look forward to a new year without war; although, to be honest, for Mittelheim the difference between war and peace generally is only the difference in the uniforms of those burning down your house and stealing your stuff. 

Getting into the Christmas Spirit: '12 more glasses each
 of spirits, and then we'll go round to the in-laws'.

In the Palatinate of Saukopf-Bachscuttel, Prince Rupprecht is again afflicted by what, for his Chamberlain Leopold von Fecklenburg, is his most dangerous kind of mood - Christmas introspection.

'Am I a good man, Fecklenburg?'

'What?' says Fecklenburg suspiciously, clutching the latest reports from the expedition to Schrote. 

'Am I a good man? You know - am I known as a wise and just fellow?'

'Beneficent, sire?'

'I haven't touched a drop, Fecklenburg'.

'Well, my lord', says the Chamberlain carefully, 'I should say that any of your subjects, picked up at random by the secret police and brought here for questioning under pain of death, would certainly attest to your marvellous qualities as a ruler'.

'That's a relief, Fecklenburg, because all I want is to be loved by my people'.

'And also by pigs, sir'.

'Obviously, Fecklenburg'.

'And pies'.

'True enough. But I still want the people to know that I do care. I want to rule wisely, and set a good example - that sort of thing. As long as it isn't too much work'.

Fecklenburg nods. 'Well, my lord, as you have raised the subject, there is, I hear, some disquiet at your failure to observe all of the strictures of the latest regulations caused by the resurgence in the plague. A belief, perhaps that you are not as committed as you should be to setting an example'.

'Look, chamberlain, I can't be expected to do  much more in the way of social distancing - I've never been further away from poor people'.

'I think, sire, that it might have been the incidents that involved indoor mixing at parties'.

'They weren't parties - they were legitimate working dinners'.

'In a carriage?'

'I need to stay mobile, Feckenburg, so that I can be of most use to my people'.

'With sixteen actresses?'

'I was working hard. Really, really hard. I worked up quite a sweat. Was it the cheese and wine thing?'

'Possibly, sire; but also, more probably, because at these "working dinners" you didn't have any clothes on'.

'They would just have inhibited my hard work. Why can't the people just trust me?'

'Well, sir, far be it from me to say, sir; but you do have a reputation, unfair of course though it is, for telling porkies'.

'I've never lied in my life, Fecklenburg'.

'Ha ha ha aha ha ... oh, you're serious - you really actually believe that, sire'.

'Bah, Fecklenburg - let us have no more on this subject. Nothing can disturb my present sense of Christmas well being'.

'Well, sire, that is a relief, because here I have the latest reports from Schrote ...'.

And so dear reader(s)*, we reach the end of another difficult twelve months. Here in Mittelheim, we hope that the coming year is a better and more peaceful one for you and yours. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

*I have added the plural in case both of you happen to be reading this at the same time.

Day Two: 10.10am!

Hunchmausen's Headquarters: Day Two, 10.10am

At 9.30am, the Ostmarck battalion heads off along the Widenlau road to join Rimmer.

At 9.50am, the observer in the cathedral spire reports a column of troops, of roughly battalion strength, foot and horse, approaching from the direction of Hanau-Brancau.

At 1000am, the second battalion of the Ostmarck regiment arrives, accompanied by the remaining two squadrons of the Giftschlange Dragoons.

At 10.10am, a messenger arrives from the Bremse Squadron detailed to head towards Redderblau Hill. They have arrived at the tower. They report a marvellous view. To this end, a column of troops can be seen about a third of a mile northwest of Hanau-Brancau, heading in direction of Schrote. There is much detritus here indicating the previous presence of some dirty, dirty enemy troops. Should they stay here and observe?

Ziegler's Headquarters: Day Two, 10.10am

The enemy follows Ziegler's rearguard but does not press an attack. Nockenshoppes likewise focuses on avoiding entanglements.

At 1000am, the column passes through Langenzofft. The village is deserted except for a wizened old codger who watches disinterestedly as the invading force marches past.

At 10.10am, the colonel's force crosses the border into Rotenburg. There is a collection of dirty, sly, ruffianly looking fellows waiting nearby – Rotenburg troops, no doubt.

Ziegler's campaign is concluded! Time for some claret, and the writing of a quick report to the Burgrave, no doubt!

Day Two: Hunchmausen's Headquarters, 9.25am!

Gelderland: Day Two, 9.25am

At 9am, a squadron of the Bremse hussars passes back through Schrote and takes the track that leads towards Redderblau Hill.

At 9.25am, a message arrives from Rimmer, written at 9.05am. He reports that scouts have penetrated the enemy lines, and have been able to give an excellent assessment of the enemy’s situation. It would seem that the whole of the known enemy force is probably here. They have looted Widenlau and are now on the road about two-thirds of a mile short of Schmallenhardt. They seem to be hurrying on at best speed. Their rear guard is composed of a regiment of hussars, supported by a regiment of jager. The rest of the force consists of two guns, four wagons, two regiments of musketeers, and two regiments of cavalry, plus some additional jager. Rimmer asks if he should he press the enemy in order to bring on an action, or should he simply observe them, exploiting any chances for a quick success against the rearguard? He has with him seven squadrons of hussars, four of dragoons, and five companies of jager.

Baron Hunchmausen decides that without his main infantry force present with Rimmer, a stand up fight may not be wise. He sends a message back to Rimmer advising that he will send infantry support immediately. So, for the moment, Rimmer should confine his actions to attempting to surprise or cut off parts of the enemy’s rearguard. He is to act aggressively but if the enemy round on him in force then he is to pull back, attempt ambushes if feasible, but otherwise wait for infantry support.

Ausgezeichnet!

Day Two: 9.25am

 Ziegler's Headquarters: Day Two 9.25am

'Well, that seemed like a long rest', says Ziegler. He stands with his jager, surveying the remains of Widenlau village. The Nabstrians have taken everything of use to them. This has left the villagers short of food, wine, jewellery, and ladies' undergarments; although it has left them with plenty of books (except those with pictures, or with especially absorbent pages), cutlery, soap, and anything that might speak to moral boundaries.

The colonel draws in a lungful of the smoky morning air. 'This is good', says Ziegler, turning to his men. 'But what is best in life?'
'The open steppes?' replies Sergeant Steiner tentatively.
'Wrong!' says Ziegler.
'A fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, the wind in your hair', says Gefreiter Schultz.
'Wrong! Gunther, what is best in life?'
'To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women'.
'Wrong! Stumpe, what is best in life?''
'Um, crumpets?' asks Captain Stumpe.
'Quite so!' replies Ziegler. 'Now, it's time to get the column organised again so that we can be in a position to consume some of them in the safety of Rotenburg'.

Stumpe salutes 'Right away sir!'

Ziegler's force sets off again at 8.45am, leaving the smoking ruin of Widenlau. The enemy force follows the colonel's troops. It seems to have grown, but his scouts have been unable to obtain more information.

At 9.25am, the colonel's troops enter Schmallenhardt. The village is about the same size as Widenlau; usefully, the villagers are themselves about the same size too, though most of the inhabitants have fled. From here, the Nabstrians and Bachscuttler can take the road northeast to Langenzofft, if they intend to exit Schrote; or, if the colonel has other ideas and perhaps wishes to conduct some clever flank manoeuvres, there are tracks to the northwest and southwest!

Day Two: 8.45 am

Hunchmausen's Headquarters: Day Two, 8.45am

Rimmer gives his men only a short rest. At 08.40 they head northeast towards Widenlau.

At 8.42, a certain Lieutenant Balan arrives in Schrote on horseback. For those readers (if both, indeed are still following the events detailed in these missives) with very, very long memories, Balan had been detailed at the beginning of the campaign to find in northern Schrote a blacksmith capable of fashioning some brackets and bolts and a small wrought iron cage big enough to hold a small powder barrel. This was to be used to provide further means to ensure that The Traitor Agorn did not fall into enemy hands (or, indeed, into any other available enemy body parts). Elsewhere in Europe, finding those with the skills to create at short notice an innovative combination of prison, torture device, and exploding machine of execution might have proved quite a difficult and time consuming process. In Mittelheim, of course, such items are much, much easier to find - certainly much easier to find than, say, a pair of pants, or an incidence of evidence-based analysis. Following his orders therefore, Balan managed yesterday successfully to procure a strange wrought iron cage, thanks to the efforts of a blacksmith in Schmallenhard who had time on his hands as he waited for the next delivery of underwear.

Having achieved his goal, Balan set off first thing this morning. The route through Widenlau was blocked by enemy forces, so he has returned via Flumpe’s Stump. The cage was then ordered to be bolted inside The Traitor Agorn's carriage with a small barrel of powder inside.

At 8.45, Kraftstein, skilled member of the Vulgarian Artisan Guild of Gaolers, Torturers and Ancillary Tradespersons, appears at Hunchmausen's headquarters. He looks disappointed. His apron is entirely clean. Rather than putting up some entertainingly messy resistance, farmer Matthias has folded like a top-flight laundry. In fact, Kraftstein didn’t really have to threaten the chap at all – just give him a few schillings and a go on his thumbscrews. It turns out that the farmer and one of his labourers were paid in Schrote by some bloke in a red dress to take 'a special package' out of Schrote town and hide it well. Evidently, however, that all sounded rather too much like hard work, especially since item for delivery really wasn't a package, or even a carton, but instead a drunk aristocrat in his jimjams, clutching some booze, who snored like Beelzebub's ringpiece. So instead, they kept the wagon, flagon, and night clothes, and sold the supine form of the victim to a smuggler before quitting Schrote with their cash. The smuggler seemed to head southwest, along the Redderblau track.

The baron immediately orders a messenger sent after Rimmer. With apologies, Rimmer is ordered to detach a squadron of hussars and send them back to Schrote, and then southwest to Redderblau. The remainder of Rimmer's force are to continue as ordered to Widenlau join the forces shadowing the enemy there.