Day Two: 8.30 am!

Ziegler's Headquarters: Day Two, 8.25am

There’s nothing quite like a real fire. Except, perhaps, fifteen or so of them. Displaying the sensitivity for which the Nabstrians are famed, the occupying troops engage in some serious efforts at urban renewal in Widenlau, breaking things, hitting small folk, and setting fire to anything that looks like it might make an entertaining conflagration - whatever a conflagration might be.

Ignoring the mayor, who seems like a boring chap anyway, Ziegler then details his troops to commence a vigorous frisking of the local village. The Bachscuttelers meanwhile, supported by the artillery, deploy on the perimeter of the village, with hussar outposts forward.

At 8.05, Colonel Nockenshoppes reports the presence of enemy light cavalry scouts that arrive up the road from the direction of Schrote. They maintain distance enough to keep Ziegler's forces under observation. By 8.25am, the enemy have been reinforced. The two lines of outposts flail uselessly at one another. Ziegler's troops gain no clear information on the enemy strength, but the enemy are probably just as blind.

In addition to some blisters and splinters, the Nabstrian plundering yields kegs of wine, which take up half a wagon; some chests of gold and silver, which take up a quarter of a wagon; and a probably blasphemous painting of the Virgin Mary cutting her toenails – the smallness of her dress, as she stoops over, no doubt adding to its artistic merit.

Having taken all that Widenlau has to offer, Ziegler decides that it is time to clear out of the province of Schrote - having indulged the troops with a little light plundering, he gives orders that his force will now march for the frontier along the agreed route at best speed!

Hunchmausen's Headquarters: Day Two, 8.30am

At 8.25am, a messenger returns, compliments from Major Zchtiffi, written at 8.05am. The enemy are at Widenlau in strength. The enemy cavalry screen, supported by jager, has prevented detailed scouting of the enemy positions. It is clear, however, that the enemy are burning Widenlau. So it's not all bad news.

At 8.30am, the baron's messenger to Rimmer returns – with Rimmer’s force! The messenger set off on the fastest route, which was north towards Tinkel Mill. He encountered Rimmer’s force, returning from Hanamel Farm, just before Schrote bridge.

Rimmer reports that the emperor was not at the farm. However, he found upon searching it both a farmer and a night gown and cap of surprisingly luxurious quality, embroidered in gold with the word ‘G’. Rimmer has brought the farmer, who seems to have been subjected to a good rummaging. Though dishevelled, the fellow. named Matthias, has an alert and intelligent look about him, which is always suspicious in a farmer.

Hunchmausen orders the farmer put immediately to the question!

Meanwhile, he orders that Rimmer's troops are given a short rest. They are then directed to join the cavalry currently scouting and harassing the enemy at Widenlau!

Day Two: 7.50am!

Ziegler's Headquarters, 7am

The colonel now has all of his forces on the Widenlau road. He commences his move northeastwards along it, heading for a line of hills.

At 7am, Pfannensteil’s hussars arrive at the head of the column. He reports that his force had yesterday followed the enemy cavalry as directed, which rode along the Widenlau road to a point just past the hills. There, the enemy left the road and headed northwards. Contact was lost last night in the dark. However, this morning, before receiving the order to return, scouts reported that the enemy had camped overnight and was that morning setting off, again in a northerly direction.

Hunchmausen's Headquarters, 7am

The baron has begun redeploying his forces. His jager begin a search for a decent ambush position.

From the cathedral spire comes a report that the enemy column is now fully deployed on the Widenlau road, and is now moving northeastwards along it in the direction of Widenlau. They will be completely out of sight imminently.

A messenger arrives from the direction of Hanau-Brancau, dated 6am this morning. Compliments from Major Ranke. He is leading three companies of garrison infantry from the direction of Bad Singen. Depending upon circumstances, he should be at Schrote by 8am. Other reinforcements are being marshalled.

Ziegler's Headquarters, 7.45am

What a lovely morning!

There have been no contacts with enemy forces.

The colonel's force arrives at the village of Widenlau, a settlement consisting of around thirty or so buildings. The village seems largely to have been deserted by most of its inhabitants, but a few of the braver, or more foolhardy, seem to have stayed. Hussars bring one of them, the mayor, to see Hunchmausen. Dressed in his Sunday best, which looks like most of everyone else’s ‘weekday worst’ he says timorously: ‘Welcome, your worship! I am Herr Schwein, the mayor! I come to you in goodwill and friendship! Wherever you are, er, from, may I guarantee that no one here will offer any threat or harm to you and your men! Pass through with our blessing!’

Hunchmausen's Headquarters, 7.45am

The weather is lovely – brisk but sunny.

The enemy column has disappeared northeastwards along the Widenlau road. Scouts indicate that this column of troops must be all of the enemy forces – their positions to the west and southwest have been abandoned, leaving behind merely the expected flotsam and jetsam of a military camp: although some of the piles of jetsam are particularly sticky and unpleasant.

From the cathedral spire, the observer identifies a column of troops at a distance of around a third of a mile, approaching this way from the direction of Hanau-Brancau.

Hunchmausen considers this intelligence carefully.

'What's for breakfast, Fluffy?' he asks.

'It's Czernazmije, sir. I had hoped that the passage of time might lead you to remember: but I think that you are actually getting my name more wrong, the longer you try and use it'.

'Come, come Brenda - don't be like that', says the baron, jovially. 'It looks to me like the enemy are retreating'.

'Or', says Czernazmije, 'redeploying?'

The baron wrinkles his brow and considers this.

'Fair enough, Wendy: let's take some appropriate action. I’d like to send scouts to report accurate enemy numbers, along with a body of hussars to harass the rear end of the enemy column and flanks should the opportunity present itself. Any news from Rimmer’s expedition?'

'Nothing as yet from Rimmer , sir. How many hussars on the harassment mission?'
'Send out the Schmetterling Hussars and Giftschlange Dragoons. And send those jager as back up. They'll just have to run'.

Day Two: 6.50am!

Hunchmausen's Headquarters, 5.40am

For the first half hour it's difficult to tell what's going on. To the southeast and west, there are sounds of activity. After 5.30am, as it begins to get lighter, however, more of a sense of what's happening can be gleaned. It looks like movement rather than an attack. To the southwest, the enemy camp fires seem to be being extinguished. To the west, a vague sense of mustering can be determined. The enemy guns seem to be being withdrawn behind the hill.

Ziegler's Headquarters, 5.50am

Colonel Nockenshoppe and Major Seewurd organise things surprisingly competently, and Ziegler's force is united by 5.50am. It is now just about ready to depart in Ziegler's desired marching order. His dragoons leave to establish a scouting screen.

Herr Dodo seems surprisingly unenthusiastic about his new career, muttering some nonsense about a wife, five children, and rent payments. The six new Nabstrian recruits, nursing bruises from ‘hopping the gauntlet’ (which is a more entertaining Nabstrian form of the usual ‘running the gauntlet’) are with the  Nabstrian musketeer battalion. The bishop and his two minions are in the wagons.

Since the local roads all go through Schrote, Ziegler's route of march will take him cross country: first, from this road to the Tinkel road in a northeasterly direction; and then southeastwards from the Tinkel road down to the Widenlau road. All told, this will be about two thirds of a mile, and, taking into account Ziegler's wagons and guns, should take about forty minutes. This assumes that there are no unforeseen incidents. During this march, Schrote will be about a quarter of a mile to Ziegler's right. From there, Ziegler's force can march to Widenlau.

Major Seewurd presents himself at Ziegler's position near the rearguard. ‘Any final instructions, sir, before we leave?’

'Yes', says the colonel. 'Screen the march column with the rearguard - the Bachscuttel Light infantry and the hussars - to prevent any interference from Schrote'.

At 6am, and unknown at this stage to both commanders, Gelderland reinforcements begin to arrive in Schrote from the south.

Hunchmausen's Headquarters, 6.10am

Picquets to the southwest report that the enemy outposts seem to have gone, although they don’t seem to have much more information than that. From the observer in the cathedral spire, the enemy force seems to have concentrated at their positions to the west. The enemy force there has formed up into marching order out of cannon range and seems to be heading in a northeasterly direction, cross country towards the Tinkel road. Enemy cavalry, supported by some infantry can be seen forming a screen of outposts between the column and Schrote.

Hunchmausen orders the shifting of troops from the South/South West to cover the West of Schrote better, with his dragoons moving to take up position in the northeast of Schrote.

Ziegler's Headquarters, 6.50am

It’s a lovely morning, and the weather is fine.

At 6.20am, and unknown to Ziegler, Pfannensteil receives his orders to return to the main column.

The colonel's force reaches the Widenlau road. En route, the column re-absorbs the dragon picquet on the Tinkel road. The journey takes longer than expected – one of the wagons gets stuck and takes a while to free.

There has been no interference from the enemy, who seem content at this stage to observe Ziegler's force.

There is no sign of the dragoon picquet that Ziegler sent out yesterday to this road. There is no sign as yet of Pfannensteil and his hussars.

From here, it should be under an hour to Widenlau.

Hunchmausen's Headquarters, 6.50am

The barons's dragoons move to redeploy in the northeast of Schrote in Rimmer’s previous position.

Trees and intervening terrain make it difficult to keep a constant eye on the enemy column, as it were. However, it seems clear that they are skirting Schrote and heading to the Widenlau road. From the cathedral spire, it seems that the head of the enemy column reaches the Widenlau road at 6.50am.

Hunchmausen sends out a couple of scouts westwards to check that the enemy have vacated their positions. Meanwhile he begins shifting troops to garrison buildings facing the known enemy positions toward Widenlau as well as moving the guns, gabions and other defensive barricades. He orders some jägers to find a good position on the edge of the town or in nearby woods. At this stage, Ziegler's intentions are difficult to discern. Perhaps he is shifting his force in order to attack from the north?

Day Two: 5am!

Both sides spend a restless night, certain that the other will attempt some kind of night attack. But neither does of course, because they are a bit tired, and also afraid of the dark.

Ziegler's Headquarters, 5am

It looks like it’s going to be another fine day. Reveille is sounded. In the darkness, Ziegler's forces quickly prepare themselves to move out at 5.50am.

Major Seewurd reports that Ziegler's guns have each expended 112 rounds and so have 88 rounds each left. He also reports that the lightly wounded from yesterday’s actions have recovered. These include: 58 of Pfannensteil’s hussars; one trained artilleryman; two artillery helpers; nine Bachscuttel hussars; and ten Bachscuttel musketeers.

Having failed to get satisfaction from the bishop (a condition, surely, that has afflicted every self-respecting man at least once in his lifetime) the colonel decides that there is nothing for it but to exit Schrote. He gives orders that his whole force will march for Widenlau. A galloper is sent to find von Pfanenstiel and inform him of this decision.

Ziegler, clearly taking the view that the light inherent in the Enlightenment is best provided by setting fire to other people's stuff, gives orders to burn every village his troops come to! He then decides that his force will take the blacksmith and his forge with them - it will go along with the wagons. The blacksmith is to be recruited into the Nabstrian Artillery with the rank and pay of a sapper. All the captured civilians will be impressed into the Nabstrian infantry. 

The march order of his force will be:

1. Dragoons - one squadron to go out ahead scouting the route

2. 2 coys of Jaeger

3. Nabstrian infantry

3a. Both guns

4. Wagons etc

5. Bachscuttel bn

6 Bachscuttel light infantry

7 Bachscuttel Hussars.

6 and 7 acting as rearguard.

Ziegler intends to keep a close eye on the rearguard, and he will be riding alongside 7. The Bishop and his priests will be given a spare horse or two and asked to ride next to the wagons - or ride on the wagons if they prefer. They are guarded by 2 picquets of Nabstrian jaeger.

Hunchmausen's Headquarters, 5 am.

It looks like it’s going to be another fine day. Dawn is at 5.30am, and it will be fully light by 6.

It would seem that the enemy have sounded reveille: the noises from the enemy camp indicate that they are preparing and assembling, though whether this is to move, attack, or slap one another with haddocks isn’t at this stage clear.

The baron's guns have each expended 50 rounds, and have 150 rounds left. Those lightly wounded yesterday have recovered. These include: 14 Liebgrenadiers; 27 Bremse hussars; 10 Karnstein Dragoons and 16 civilians.

The baron orders his troops to stand to. He then calls in Czernazmije.

'Chumbawamba, gather the Hanamel Farm strike force once more and launch Operation Squealer a little before dawn. Order the troops to go east on the Widenlau road then strike north across country following the course of the river toward Oxfurt & Kambritz. Scouts will check the two villages and then the force will sweep round to cut Tinkel Mill, and then travel up Hanamel Farm road and enter Hanamel Farm from the South'.

 Czernazmije salutes. 'It is an excellent plan, sir'.

'Yes it is', answers the baron.

'Indeed, baron', replies Czernazmije. 'So excellent that you have already sent the force off. Colonel Rimmer's force departed at 4.10pm yesterday, according to your orders'.

Hunchmausen pauses, 'Yes ... yes .... obviously I knew that. It is simply an example of just how important Operation Squealer is that I gave the orders again. Later, after they'd left'.

'Quite so, sir', says Czernazmije. 'It makes perfect to sense'.

'Indeed', says the baron.

'Although you gave them a different route yesterday'.

'I knew that'.

Day One: 6.45pm!

Hunchmausen's Headquarters

At 6.10pm, there is a sudden commotion! Alarm! Alarm! Sentries report that bishop Baldwin and his two friars are missing! Whilst the baron's forces were focused on the threat from the west, it would seem that a small group of the enemy entered Schrote from the east. In the cathedral itself, both of Baldwin’s guards have been killed. There is also there the dead body of a comely milkmaid, armed with a bloodied stiletto knife and a shapely milk pail. The sentry at the northern door has been killed, as well as four others on the perimeter. Jagers have been searching, but in the dark there is no sign of the interlopers! The baron seeks individuals, local, or perhaps one of the jager, skilled in tracking. These he wishes to estimate the size of the enemy force and to prepare to give chase.

6.30pm: Finding jager with the requisite aptitudes, the application of lanterns and some diligent searching seems to demonstrate that the enemy force was a very small one – certainly less than a dozen. Following the likely trail indicated by the bodies of the sentries seems to show that the enemy force has returned back through the line of enemy outposts. With such a head start, it is sadly too late to pursue.

6.35pm: To the west, an enemy bugle can be heard. The enemy artillery ceases firing, and two bonfires are lit on high ground, probably behind the enemy positions. There is noise to the front of the Gelderland cannon: it seems that whatever enemy might be there are probably withdrawing. Hunchmausen orders some speculative fire - 10 rounds from each of the guns! Gott Straffe Bachscuttel!

Ziegler's Headquarters

The colonel and his small force return swiftly to headquarters. They are long gone before the sounds of drums and horns shows that the enemy has discovered that something is amiss!

Kugel is still firing, one round every three minutes per gun. The Bachscuttel battalion is also still out there somewhere in the dark! Ziegler orders the gunners to cease fire. He then orders the recall sounded for the Bachscuttel battalion and that bonfires be lit to guide them back.

The Bachscuttlers scuttle back, sadly rather too noisily! The enemy artillery open fire briefly, killing two men and wounding another ten. The enemy also administer a slow hand clap, which hurts quite a lot as well. The Bachscuttel battalion manages to return relatively swiftly thanks to the bonfires. They are in a wretched state of disorder. Colonel Ziegler then applies himself to the task of questioning the bishop and his two lackeys.
'Bishop. know you of the whereabouts of the emperor?'
'No - hence my missive that I don't know the whereabouts of the emperor and that you should therefore search every house, hut, barn and badger set in Schrote'.
'And you're sure that you don't know the whereabouts of the emperor?'
'Yes - hence my missive that I don't know the whereabouts of the emperor and that you should therefore search every house, hut, barn and badger set in Schrote'.
'And your two henchman - they don't know about of the whereabouts of the emperor?'
'No - hence my missive that we don't know the whereabouts of the emperor and that you should therefore search every house, hut, barn and badger set in Schrote'.
'And you're sure that you have no clue regarding the whereabouts of the emperor?'
'Yes - hence my missive that I don't know the whereabouts of the emperor and that you should therefore search every house, hut, barn and badger set in Schrote'.


There is an awkward silence.
'So', says the bishop, 'have you searched every house, hut, barn and badger set in Schrote?'
The colonel slumps. Ordering the bishop to be given quarters for the night, he then gives orders for his whole force to be ready to march by 0530 the next morning. He then dispatches a messenger to find Pfannensteil to inform him of his intention to march at first light! Perhaps the emperor can be found in a hut, barn, or badger set nearby.